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Author Topic: Donor update  (Read 4691 times)

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Offline upnover

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Donor update
« on: March 28, 2011, 11:33:33 PM »
Got the call today from the coordinator that the sort of final tests all came back good. The donor rejection was negative and my ct scan was good.

 Now reality is starting to set in. I meet with the surgeon next week for I guess him to tell me what the scoop is. I'm not backing out it's just that I thought there would be some medical reason that I would not be a suitable donor. I'm leaving it in the Lord's hand. He is in control. Will update you all when I know the surgery date. This has been a great forum for information and support.

Cheers

Offline sherri

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Re: Donor update
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2011, 10:54:30 AM »
I remember during the testing process, I thought for sure something would come up and I would be rejected. I think deep down I had hoped something would come up so that I would feel like the decision would be out of my hands. So many people on this forum and others kept stressing how intense the work up is and how vigilant the hospital is about testing the donors. I don't know what I expected but personally I didn't think it was that difficult to qualify. Maybe I am underestimating my good health; I certainly don't mean to take it for granted. Like you, I did feel like there would be some "diving providence" or a sign that I would know if I was the one.

My brother was initially registered at Mt. Sinai in NYC and I remember asking the nurse coordinator if I decide to decline now to see if others would come forward to test, could I then reopen my file if no one else was a match and wanted to donate. I thought this was a good way to identify the "sign".  She told me, once I declined they would not reopen my file. I erroneously assumed this was standard protocol (I thought for some reason all transplant centers were obligated to follow FDA guidelines or something "silly" like that) so I felt obligated to continue in the testing since if I did decline and no one else matched I could not put my name in the hat. I found out later this is not true at all centers. So, perhaps if you feel a little uneasy at this time, ask to hold off your decision to donate and see if there are others who are willing to test. Some hospitals like to test one potential donor at a time for cost saving reasons so there may be others willing to test or maybe others who are not even aware of the need.

I remember saying to the psychologist that if there was someone else who was just as good of a match as I was I wouldn't mind relinquishing my spot. So it was clear to me that I was doing this because I was a perfect match and the best candidate. At times, I wish I could have been a little more "altruistic" or heroic about my donation but no one is perfect.

This is a big decision and needs time to think through the ramifications of having elective surgery, evaluating future health risks, financial risks, emotional risks etc. Perhaps, discussing all these issues with a neutral party outside the transplant center will help you clarify your decision.

I hope your belief in a higher power will help you come to terms with your decision, whatever it is. This is truly a difficult journey, not only physically but evenmoreso emotionally. Just wanted to reassure you that ambivalence, fear and anxiety before embarking on this surgery is very normal.

Best of luck to you and keep us posted.

Sherri
Sherri
Living Kidney Donor 11/12/07

 

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