Donating to my dad

[nightowl]

Hi all,

I wish I would have found this forum sooner! I am hoping to donate a kidney to my dad, who just turned 56 in July (I'm 24). I went through the preliminary blood tests/glucose test about 3 months ago. I had the rest of my testing done this past Friday (all in one day, what a day!). I live 4 hours from the hospital where the surgery will be performed, my parents live only 1 hour away.

I met with my IDA, social worker, transplant coordinator, and the doctor who would be performing the surgery. There is one test left and that's the tissue crossmatch - when I asked why they couldn't do that test when I was there Friday, their reply was that they don't typically do that test on Fridays. So they said they would mail me a kit that I could take to a lab to have performed.

I guess that is the last big step? Then they present my case to the transplant team/board and make a decision. They send I should know by the end of August whether it's yes or no.

It's been difficult coordinating all this from so far away but I'm thankful that they squeezed all the testing into one day when they said it typically takes two.

Now that I've had time for everything to sink in I'm feeling scared. I still definitely want to donate to my dad. I've never had a surgery before, so this is new to me. I guess my biggest fear is getting the time off work and the recovery time. I work out everyday and am always moving. I know its going to drive me nuts not being able to clean and do the things I normally do for 4-6 weeks, but I know it will be worth it in the end for my dad.

[Fr Pat]

     Congratulations on your decision. I donated a kidney 14 years ago, at age 56 (to a stranger) and am doing well.
     There is a "cross-match" where they mix some of your blood and the intended recipient's blood to see if there is a bad reaction due to antibodies. That test is usually repeated again right before the surgery ( "final cross-match" ) in case the intended recipient has developed new antibodies since the time of the first test.
     You might want to post also at the FaceBook page of Living Donors on Line, as these days many more donors check in there rather than here.
               best wishes,
                   Fr. Pat

     

[elephant]

Dear nightowl,

I also donated to my Dad, though I was twice your age at the time.  I also work out daily, primarily running and weightlifting. 

There will be lifting restrictions for a number of weeks post surgery to allow your incisions to heal properly.  I was told "15lbs", which I interpreted as 15lbs in each hand. 

You will be encouraged to walk immediately after surgery, and taking walks will make you feel better.  My first walk out of the hospital (two days after surgery) was about 1/4 mile and exhausted me.  By the end of the week I could walk a couple of miles. 

When I went for my checkup (about a week after surgery) the doctor said I could start jogging when I felt ready.  So I started right away.  It felt a bit uncomfortable, but improved quickly. 

I was anxious about heavy lifting and core training, but by 6 months after surgery I began to forget...by a year I totally forgot. 

I was out of work for 3 1/2 weeks but could have used another week, as I was tired all the time and needed lots of extra sleep.

Your fitness will make recovery easier for you.  Keep us updated on your progress. 

Love, elephant

[Spirited64]

I will be donating (nondirected) aug. 23rd and will be less than 1 month from being 65 yrs. of age (and nothing bounces back as fast as before).   I have concerns about the recovery,  as I assume most others do (or did have).  Since my husband died, I do not have the level of "care taking" that he would have provided.  The surgery is being done about 10 hrs. away and I have friends who will be helping and that I will initially stay with and who will help with the drive back about 10 days post op.  But, no one can be there to help for as long as I might need.  I live in the mountains and lifting, etc. is par for daily life.  After all, if a big limb or even tree has fallen in the path of the "road" (and I use that term very loosely) as I drive in, it has to get moved-by me.   I also teach yoga and wonder when I can return to that (actually doing it, not just verbal instructions) since their is alot of bending/twisting/and "core" work of the abdominals.  There is also a 2 day hike that was planned over a year ago that will be about 7 weeks post op (group of 25).  It is near the beginning of the AT (appalachian trail) which means not a flat hike (did it last year without problem).  I plan on going no matter what, but certainly have some anxiety about stamina being back "enough".   Just am hoping I can do enough each post op day but also know that overpushing can also be a problem.  Anyone "overpush" and cause a setback in recovery?   

[Fr Pat]

Dear "Spirited...",
     I donated at age 56, 14 years ago, and recovered well. I think that the key is to keep your plans "tentative". I have read many recovery stories over the years and there is a GREAT deal of difference among donors. Some get back to normal quickly, while others report serious long-term difficulties. So it is wise, I think, to keep lots of back-up plans ready just in case you don't recover as quickly as you hope. In particular, have a list of people you might call if you need some help. Maybe even let them know ahead of time and ask If they would be willing.
     My own surgeon recommended that I start gentle bending and stretching exercises the day after surgery. And I donated by the open method, so had a 10-inch incision along the flank. He said that bending and stretching would help it heal well, and it did. BUT, he said to bend only until I felt pressure/pain at the incision, then stop and hold that position a few seconds before relaxing. Better to go too slow rather than too fast.
     Before trying a 2-day hike please take some gradually increasing shorted walks to make sure you can handle it.
     Best wishes. Please let us know how things go.
                    Fr. Pat

[CK]

nightowl - it's not likely that you will be unable to clean or do activities of daily living for 4-6 weeks.  If it's more intensive physical stuff, you may have to wait on that a bit, but daily around the house stuff won't be a problem after a couple of weeks (most likely - everyone is different in how they recover).

I donated 4 years ago at age 46.  I was out of the hospital by noon the next day and back up there to visit my recipient the day after that.  Yes, I was sore, but that doesn't last too long.  I drove after a week, and could have gone back to work after 2, but stayed out another week to help my recipient.  I had never had surgery before the donation and didn't know what to expect, but I really didn't find it to be that big of a deal after the first few days.

Your father is lucky to have child like you, and you will enjoy seeing how healthy he becomes after the transplant.