Dealing with people's reactions to news of kidney donation

[bkladane]

Hi~

Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm 32 and will (hopefully) be donating a kidney to my younger brother (24) very soon. I've made it through most of the tests, met with the doctors, social worker, etc. Tomorrow I go get my TB test read and meet with the living donor advocate. The only tests left are BRCA1 & BRCA2 for the breast cancer genetic mutation (my mother is a breast cancer survivor) and then the CT scan of my kidneys.

I'm so happy to be helping my little brother but also scared as hell and a bit sad because my husband and I had planned on trying to start a family in March and now I might have one less kidney in March and have to wait 6-8 months before we can try.

I am also trying to deal with comments from people. You're a hero, you're amazing, I know it's coming from a place of love. At first it was nice, but it bothers me a little. I'm not a hero. I'm a big sister who loves her brother and wants him to have a better quality of life. And then some people have said I don't seem scared or worried. I don't know, I guess they'd have me bawling my eyes out every day or retreating to my bed all the time. I am scared, just because I don't show it (whatever that means) doesn't mean I'm not. And saying to me, "OHMYGOD I would be so terrified if I were you" is really not the best thing to say. Most of my friends have been awesome and some others have been surprisingly silent. It's weird, but I'm a very outgoing and talkative person and all of these reactions make me want to keep quiet.

[JenMax]

I liken some of it announcing a pregnancy.  I swear every mother in a 100-mile radius had to tell me her horror story or one she had 'heard'.  To be honest, most of it I blocked out, smiled and nodded and just ignored.

As for the hero worship, I also disregarded that since it felt awkward.  I am finding it a great opportunity to spread awareness and education.  After all, most of us knew very little about living organ donation until presented with the possibility.  Why not share that knowledge we've gained?