Im literally begging to give someone a kidney but being rejected on some b.s.

[Jbouchard132687]

Im one of the small percentage of heroin addicts who havent contracted hep c or hiv.. I have just under 5 years sober .. Im in perfect physical health .. So i consider myself extremely lucky.

Back in november we found out my dad is in end stage kidney failure due to an auto immune disease that hes being treated for now- but the damage is done. We enrolled in the swap program but i just received an encrypted email notifying me that i cant donate because they use opiate pain meds after surgery and risk of me relapsing is too high. I see where they're coming from- but- wtf..?? Really? Thats b.s.

Ppl arent considered on a case-by-case basis? That's it? Im ruled out & written off cuz i am in recovery? There are other pain meds besides opiates that can be used after surgery. I just dont get it.

Basically i shouldve lied on the form .. I shouldnt have admitted to ever having an issue. Being honest got me black listed. The man who supported me & stood by me when i was hard to support now needs my help and i have to tell him i cant help him

[elephant]

Dear Jbouchard,

You did the right thing by being honest.   The last thing your Dad would want is to recover from the transplant, and feeling healthy, watch you descend back into addiction.  Your transplant center considers your health a higher priority than your Dad's, and has to protect you.  Your willingness is a great gift to him! 

Truth be told, there are too many stories about recovering addicts who relapse after surgery.  So elective surgery (which includes donation) is a huge risk.

Now, you can ask for a meeting with the transplant coordinator and or psychologist to discuss.  When I donated in 2011, an iv drug called Toradol (not to be confused with Tramadol which has abuse potential) was used together with opiates for post-surgical pain relief.  The thing about Toradol is you can only use it for a little while, it wreaks havoc with your digestive system.  Anyway, the nurse told me that the use of Toradol significantly reduced the need for opiates in donors.  But I don't know if anyone has ever donated without any opiates.  But you could ask?

love, elephant

[Fr Pat]

Dear Jbouchard,
     Yes, I likewise would definitely suggest that you ask the hospital about the possibility of using other pain relievers that would present less danger. You might also think it over carefully and decide how much pain you would be willing to tolerate if ¨safer¨ pain meds would not do as good a job. Also keep in mind that most hospitals want to be sure that the donor is really freely offering to donate. Some family members may sometimes offer to donate out of a feeling that they have to, but really don't want to do it. So some hospitals may present an obstacle so that a reluctant donor can gracefully back out while explaining that it was the hospital that turned them down. So I think it would be worth while for you to clearly (but politely) assure the hospital that you still WANT to donate and you would cooperate in looking for alternative pain control possibilities.
    best wishes,
   Fr. Pat (donor '02)

[Karol]

Not all transplant hospitals have the same rules. Larger centers likely have more experience in this area and may be willing to work with you. Your dad would have to get evaluated and accepted at the new center, but it'd much quicker since he's been listed previously. If it turns out you're not a match, you can still help advocate for your dad by getting his story out there and help him find a willing donor. As a matter of fact, you could be doing that now, reaching out to family and friends to share his current need for people to get tested for him. Good luck!
Here's a story about a woman with 21 years sobriety, who donated a kidney http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2938260/Donating-kidney-way-giving-back.html