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Emotional rollercoaster

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fredpeh:
Hello everyone,
I haven't posted any messages for quite a while since my plans for my kidney donation have been on and off. I am an Eastern Orthodox priest and I offered to donate a kidney to a young man in my church.  I finished all the testing back in January and was approved to be a donor.  Since we do not match blood types we were to be part of a paired exchange.  I've spent months reading everything on this site, and other sites and reading books and articles to prepare myself.

 Then a friend of this young man stepped forward and offered to donate and he is a match.  So I was no longer needed to donate.  Then his friend was found to have a cardiac issue and he was disqualified and I was the donor again.  Then the transplant cardiologist cleared him to donate and I was off.  Yesterday I had a phone call and it seems this friend is having "second thoughts" and I may be the donor after all. 

After all of this time preparing myself I am more than willing to go forward but after yesterday's phone call I'm beginning to  feel that I'm on "Candid Camera" (if anybody remembers that show!).  It is an absolute emotional roller coaster.  I have put my life and my future in the Lord's hands but it is frustrating not knowing what to expect.  I suppose this is faith:  trusting in the Lord despite not knowing what the future holds.  I

I wish we could just get it over with already!  I am committed to going through with this donation if needed.  I also have worked for 20+ years as a hospice chaplain and I have watched many young fathers and mothers die and there was nothing I could do to help them.  In this case, I can make a difference and save someone's life. 


Thanks for letting me vent.  I don't want to share my feelings with the man I will be donating to, I don't want him to feel bad since most of this is out of his control.  I'll keep everyone posted on what develops.

Father Ed

ohtobeahayes:
Hi, Father Ed! And welcome!
Gosh, you aren't kidding. That is quite the roller coaster you're on. I know that it seems very hard when your life really is kind of at a stand still until you know one way or another what's going to happen. I felt that way, and I was an anonymous donor so there wasn't really any "real" waiting of any kind, so I can only imagine how this feels.

If you end up not being the donor for your friend, are you going to donate anonymously to someone anyway since you've done the testing? You didn't say.

My love and prayers are joining yours, for resolution one way or another to come, and as quickly as possible!  Whatever the outcome, in hindsight may we be able to say "Look! That turned out perfectly and the timing couldn't have been better!" :)

Thank you for your heart!
Nicki

Prelude_Sarah:
I'm very sorry to hear that you've had such a turbulent time lately Father Ed.  My donation process was also very turbulent.  I had always thought that I would be donating my kidney to my younger sister when I was much older than I am now.  My sister has chronic kidney failure, and it's likely that she will need another kidney in the future.  We had several people test to donate to her, but none of them were as close of a match as me.  My thought process was this: "we are so blessed to have these other people come forward right now.  What if there is no one else to come forward 15 or 20 years from now?  I can't donate both of my kidneys, so maybe I should wait until later in life to donate when there aren't so many other potential donors".  It turned out that my sister wasn't comfortable with anyone else donating but me.  So, at 26, 5 weeks ago, I donated my left kidney to my sister.  It was such an emotional roller coaster.  My sister wasn't herself and was sometimes less than considerate of the whole situation (I made some posts about this in the past).  Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, hang in there.  I know it's very stressful right now, but it will all be a distant memory before you even know it.  I will keep you in my prayers, and I know that everything will work out just as its meant to.

Much love,

Sarah

Scott337:
Fr. Ed,

I consider myself a very spiritual person and try to be faithful in believing my life DOES have purpose and direction. Considering I'm only human, I don't necessarily get to know what that purpose and direction is before it presents.  Faith is simply believing that YOUR path reveals itself as you move through life.  We need only be ready and WILLING to act, to be positive, to overcome, to forgive and to love.  Your willingness to be so courageous and selfless in your gift, especially given the on-again/off-again status, says something about your conviction and faith in what you are doing.

Continue to be patient, open and understanding of the process.  I'm certain you'll look back on this time, smile and realize what a wonderful and humbling experience it is to help give life to someone in need and how amazing the Holy Spirit's ability to move us truly is.

You have a wonderful heart and good luck - please keep us informed and we will pray for you and your eventual recipient, whomever that becomes.

Scott   8)  

PhilHoover:
The LORD sees AND controls that roller coaster, Padre!

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