Living Donors Online Message Board
Living Donation Discussion and News => Living Donation Forum => Topic started by: PastorJeff on August 02, 2012, 12:12:44 AM
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I'm a non directed donor going NKR. Seen two matches go away. Just cross matched for a donor chain of nine. Now waiting to see if all cross match ok. If so we get a surgery date. What a privilege that would be to be part of helping all those people!!!! Tuesday, August 7th we learn --go or no go. We're praying to go forward. Patience now.
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Hi, Giants.
As you say, "Patience now". Just keep repeating to yourself: marathon, not sprint, marathon, not sprint, marathon, not sprint....
When I was early in the process, an organization arranged for me to test for a near lost-cause candidate, someone for whom they'd basically despaired of finding a match (antibody problems of some sort). Then, the organization said: look, we already booked you in the lab, the two of you already have to come in so early. You know what, we'll throw in another lost-cause candidate--the lab will do us a favor, and test you for both the same morning. Just know it's most unlikely anything will come of it, but we've got to keep their hopes up. To make a long story short...I matched well with both! I was flying--I went running through the halls of my office yelling for joy (nobody knew why). And yet--since I was at the beginning of my testing process, it ended up that each "found other solutions" (whether a deceased donor, or a relative or something, I never knew) well before I was approved. Apart from meeting at the lab, I never really got to know either candidate.
Later, I was matched with a gentleman with whom I really hit it off. After the match, we progressed together through many many stages of the process, and we became friendly. However, I was still not finished with my testing when I had to leave town for a month to help my parents...and he was suddenly offered a deceased donor kidney (and given 30 minutes to decide). The donor and his family really wanted my "live" kidney but, since I was away, and was not yet approved, they grabbed the sure thing. I was sort of stunned, since we'd really hit it off. I really had thought he was "the one", but I was happy he got his kidney in the end. We still talk sometimes.
I finally proceeded "to the altar" with my fourth match, who I guess was, "upstairs", truly my designated recipient.
Good luck with your plans, and hang in there! (Marathon, not sprint....)
Be well, Snoopy
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Thanks for taking the time to share your experience. If you wait long enough you have an opprtunity to revisit/question all your original motives, even come up with some new ones. I'm beginning to think I'm a bit obsessed with it all. People are probably tired of hearing about it--especially my dear wife who is an RN and understands the potential complications on a more than academic level.
I cruised through the evaluation in large measure due to my coordinator, Diane of UCSF. She made it quite seamless. But waiting is a big distraction for me from my work and the people I serve. One just asked, no pressure--How long do you intend to let this go before you would call it off. Good question. I don't have the ability to go on indefinitely--to early fall at the most. Yet I would NOT renig if a chain was in place.
But it seems now after two or three attempts we might have a chain. Yet just in case, yes, Marathon, not sprint, marathon, not sprint. This is tough. I better drink some water, or better yet a beer. Thanks Jeff
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Jeff, I think most of us become a bit obsessed about this while going through the eval process. It's a big deal, consumes a lot of time, and is a big part of this particular chapter of our lives. I wondered how far I'd go too. Initially I wanted to donate to a friend but after months of researching, we found put we had incompatible blood types. I found another person through LDO that was a compatible blood type but then had to go through months of testing & waiting....and you're right-you learn a lot in the waiting! During that time the mother of a girl I mentor asked me what I'd do if I ended up not being a match this time around...I told her I'd keep trying. And she said, "if it doesn't work this time why don't we try cleaning out your closet & giving some clothes away instead!" ;D That made me laugh. But I knew donation was something I really wanted to do, & thankfully it worked out for me.
Good luck! Try to enjoy the waiting. Once it's over, it's over so really relish this time while you can!
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Thanks for the benefit of your experience. I was beginning to wonder that so much of my attention has been toward this. That was funny about your mentor's mom. :)
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I was beginning to wonder that so much of my attention has been toward this.
Uh-huh. I remember being horrified, really disturbed, to discover how high I ranked on LDO in terms of time spent online. I definitely began to wonder if I was over-doing it a bit. But I know several other people who reported similar experiences.
Be well, Snoopy