Living Donation Discussion and News > Living Donation Forum
A favor to ask
Aries7:
Hi Sarah!
I am so sorry you are so scared, but I really believe this is quite normal. I have several positives. First off, I had excellent nurses before and after surgery. They were extremely kind to me and took such good care of me. I was happy to see my husband feel better and have so much more energy. I also really enjoyed the time we were able to spend together post surgery while we healed up. The time off of work was pretty nice too! :)
Is there something in partcular that is scaring you? I can tell you (from experience) the mind is a powerful thing and very capable of forming some very powerful scary images. The idea of surgery always mortified me. I ended up having a hysterectomy 5 months prior to donating my kidney. (this was my first major surgery) I think that really helped me because I then knew what to expcect during surgery. I can honestly tell you that surgery was nowhere near as bad as my mind had imagined it, and please believe me when I tell you I was a HUGE whimp prior to this. This has definately toughened me up and made me so much less afraid of doctors, hospitals etc.
One thing that helped me was to think past the surgery date and focus on afterwards as really and truly, it will be over before you know it! I have complete faith in you that you are going to do marvelous - I mean that!! You feel free to post here as much as you need to - we will all get you through this. Before you know it, you will be posting here telling all of us all about your surgery.
You will do great Sarah! We are all here for you!
Linda
Fr Pat:
Dear Sarah,
Hey! I certainly DID enjoy my morphine drip (no joke) and I hope you will too! There is pain involved, so don't be shy about taking advantage of what is offered. "Dope-on-a-rope" is great. Live it up!
A thought: folks on this site have all sorts of spiritual beliefs (or lack of them). Some donors have said that they asked their church or synagogue (or even one they were not really members of) to pray for them. Not by name, but "We pray for someone who will soon be donating a kidney to help someone else. We pray for success in the surgery, and for strength and comfort for both." Some donors have said that they felt very comforted in knowing that someone was praying for them. Some donors have even gone to a service where others gathered around and placed hands on them to pray for them. Or if you have some friend who REALLY believes in prayer ("religious nut-case") go ahead and ask her/him to pray for you and your sister. Couldn't hurt. It might be helpful to recheck into whatever spiritul roots you might have and see what may be found there for this special time.
My own personal experience: I have a lot of high ideals, but often don't live up to them very well. O.K. I admire good things that others have done, but often don't do much to imitate them. O.K. When I gave a kidney I thought "Wow, that was a really neat thing to do!" Sort of like hitting a bases-loaded home run when you're usually lucky to even get to first base. So, if the idea appeals to you, go ahead and say to yourself "No matter how much I may mess up the rest of my life, I'm going to do ONE beautiful thing that I'll always be proud of." If that seems selfish for you, forget about it. Worked for me, so I pass it on for what it's worth.
best wishes,
Fr. Pat
PhilHoover:
without the help of the LORD, and the love/concern/assistance of my church family.
Mine is a "God story" if ever there was one...
I found out that one of my college professors (from the mid 1980s) needed a kidney transplant. I found out on FaceBook of all places....
and yes, I'm so thankful to the LORD for helping me, inspiring me, directing me, and healing my body after the surgery.
The spiritual dimension was absolutely ESSENTIAL in the wonderful experience for me.
Phil Hoover
Chicago
Sarah in Maine:
Oh, so many good things. While my mother was on dialysis for 10 months she had her access thing up in her juggular so she couldn't shower, swim, or let my daughter give her a proper hug. The joy when that came out (with her successful new kidney transplant in and working well) was so awesome, watching my daughter run up to her and give her a big ole bear hug! Its been two years now and at our Easter family celebration we are back to taking her life for granted....you know, regular family trivial complaints & such. Not that it is good to take anything for granted (especially not any ONE), but the fact that we CAN, as compared to all of those holidays where we weren't sure if this would be the last christmas with grandma, the last birthday with grandma, etc, etc. A gift of health, a gift of life, it really is a gift of hope.
Best of luck to you & your recipient!
--Sarah
ohtobeahayes:
The anticipation can be nerve wracking, but on the day of surgery, you get prepped, and then they hit ya with a little something and you're still awake and feeling floaty...then GOODNIGHT! In about 30 seconds you wake up, and it's a done deal. You're on the other side.
There is pain involved, and like Fr Pat said, dope on a rope is the best ever. Get as comfy as you can, eat when you can, and get up and walk as soon as you can. Then it's vacation time: someone will cook for you in the hospital, and you get to go home and rest and be pampered. Your awesome body will heal, your awesome kidney will pee you peeing.
While there are times when it will feel like it's taking forever to heal, truly, before any time has passed, you'll be 3 months out, 6 months out, 9 months out and so on- most likely feeling like nothing at all happened. You'll see the wonder of what you've done, and you'll remember how horribly nervous you were beforehand and know how to offer compassion to someone else before their surgery when they are scared.
We're going to get you through this! Maybe now is a good time to think of something that's just for you, for ...say 6 weeks after surgery? Maybe book a pedi or massage or haircut or something or ....anything at all that you love and would look forward to?
It's a few more days! We're gonna get you through!
I don't have one negative thing to say about my experience. The whole thing was incredible from start to finish. My prep nurse happened to also be a kidney donor (!!!) and she'd also had a hysterectomy before donating a kidney. It was a little bit amazing. You will be well taken care of and looked out for, and we will send lots of love to you to help.
Hang in there!
Nicki
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