Living Donors Online Message Board
Living Donation Discussion and News => Living Donation Forum => Topic started by: Spirited64 on August 09, 2016, 11:36:42 PM
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I am scheduled Aug. 23rd to be a nondirected donor in a paired exchange. But..the recipient (for my kidney) had a heart attack and is off the list (probably several months). The surgeon called me to go over the options. I cannot change the surgery date. I am traveling out of state which has involved alot of logistics and unfortunately alot of expense (plane tickets-for me, a friend coming to the surgery and another friend flying down to help with drive back and lots more). And work rearranged. And friends who planned their time around the donation, etc... The surgeon was totally understanding of this. Also, by Jan. I would be at the 1 year mark of needing repeat tests (and there is no way I am redoing all those. Esp. being over 60 yrs. old, there are LOTS and LOTS of tests). This rules out using more time to get an exchange set up. Initially, it was hoped there could be a chain of up to 6. They tested at least 6 donors from the computer generated algorithm and none passed. Finally, one did and it was decided to go with the paired exchange even tho it was "short" of the hoped for longer chain.
I can only imagine the disappointment (I think that would be way too mild of a word) of my "intended" recipient who was 2 weeks away from getting a kidney. And the recipient's willing but unmatched donor- has to be very hard also. Altho I do not know them, my heart (no pun intended) really goes out to them.
The other choice is a 1:1 donation. What we decided on, tho, was they were going to try to get another recipient in the paired exchange that I match with (I think I match pretty easily) and then have what I call a "hanging potential nondirected donor" (I assume there is a word for this person) who would complete testing-which would not be until after my surgery- and if passes, would still be willing to hold up his/her end of the paired exchange agreement. Funny, I had been talking with friends earlier today about how anything can still happen-like someone getting sick, etc... which alters the original plan.
And like a true friend who says everything on her mind, (an RN who is a "bulldog" advocate and watchdog flying down and "watching over me") said, "Well, at least it didn't happen 2 weeks after the transplant. I bet you didn't think of that". Uh, no I hadn't..... Gotta luv her....
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Dear spirited,
Wow that was a real shock. I'm sorry for the recipient, but agree with your RN pal, better before than after. Or during surgery, which would be awful. I understand your determination to stick with the planned date, I'm sure I'd have made the same decision. It means you are fully committed to donation. We'll be eager to hear about the outcome, be sure to post again when you have news.
Love, elephant
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I donated non-directed over 14 years ago, before the "chains" and "swaps" had been developed, so one recipient was chosen for me. The chains are great, but helping even one person is great also. I quite understand that with all the arrangements you have made it may be best to stick to that date and go ahead, but it must be a tough decision. But as the saying goes: "sometimes the perfect can be the enemy of the good". Trying to wait for the "perfect" arrangement might result in missing a good chance that is here and now. Please keep us posted about how things go.
best wishes,
Fr. Pat
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Thanks. It is helpful to be reminded about not going for the perfect and potentially missing out on what is "here and now" (well, almost "now"-still 12 days to go until it "goes")....