Hi all. Quarterly run in the pooled donation system did not find a match for myself and my husband, so onto the next run in a few months time.
Unfortunately in the last few months two of my adult sons have now also been diagnosed with PKD, and our third nearly adult son who's been having some symptoms is going to have initial ultrasound testing.
This has really thrown me. Of course my husbands illness and surgery prospects have been stressful, but knowing my children may go through similar is incredibly worrying. I have also been left with a huge emotional dilemma. My husband is obviously most in clinical need of a transplant which would hopefully last him a good while. My children may or may not develop severe kidney failure. Our youngest is experiencing symptoms at quite a young age in comparison to his father and siblings.
Of course l still want to help my husband. But I'm absolutely torn knowing that if I do I obviously don't have the chance to help any of my children in the future should they need it. ( Although that brings yet again another cycle of concerns, how could l choose between them if a match, directly or through a paired programme?) As a parent l think instinctively you want to protect and help your children above anyone else.
I love my husband dearly and want him to have as good and as long a life as he can, but of course l want the same for my children, adult or not. It has turned what is a stressful situation into quite an emotionally overwhelming one and l just can't seem to find a way of how to realistically move forward. If feels as if whatever l do will be to someone's detriment.
Dear Mac,
So sorry to hear this! What a set of challenges for you all! I hope all five of you are able to talk candidly and supportively with each other about all your hopes. I hope you have someone outside your family with whom to air these worries, too. I'm sure your support of all of them, and your ongoing willingness to be a donor, even if to a stranger as part of a chain, overwhelms each and every one of them, too. Tragic life threatening situations are what we hope to ameliorate, as much as we can. Best wishes to you all!