A Transplant Center Guide: About Living Kidney Donation: Asking for a Donor

[Clark]

http://www.ynhh.org/vSiteManager/Upload/Docs/Kidneyaskingfinal0611.pdf

About Living Kidney Donation: Asking for a Donor

 ...

Once family and friends hear of your need for a kidney transplant, they
may consider living donation, but, like you, struggle with a wide range of
emotions. Some may be scared of the medical risks and recovery process,
and others may even be ashamed that they don’t want to donate. Many
though, are likely surprised that you haven’t asked them about living donation,
and are unsure about how to approach you.

 ...

During the Conversation
To help reduce tension and confusion, it may be helpful to make a few
clear statements about your feelings and expectations at the start of the
conversation:
• State that you do not want an answer or offer to donate at that
moment. By sharing that you respect the depth of your question,
you allow your family and friends to thoroughly consider their
answer and not respond based on emotions alone.
• Explain that you will not ask, or bring up the topic again. Let
them know they can contact you or your transplant coordinator at
866.925.3897 for more information. By making this statement you
let them know that your relationship, both now and in the future, is
not based on their response.
• Let them know that neither of you needs to evaluate medical risk or
make medical determinations. Yale-New Haven Hospital transplant
coordinators serve as a resource to anyone considering living
donation. In addition, your family and friends can contact a
coordinator without anyone knowing. Their questions and medical
history are kept completely confidential.
• Offer additional resources about living kidney donation that family
and friends can review on their own, including www.donatelife.net.
and www.livingdonorsonline.org.

 ...

[livingdonor101]

It amazes me that as recently as 2008, transplant conferences and presentations abounded regarding the ethical pitfalls of solicitation, yet now transplant centers are encouraging and educating recipients on how to most effectively do it.

[Donna Luebke]

Much of the ethical debate and discussions fell apart when the OPTN Ad Hoc Solicitation for Organs Committee was disbanded--why disbanded?  Because we started to question why folks feel the need to solicit.  It boiled down to the fact that they do not trust the transplant system.  The surgeon who was most vocal against solicitation and Matchingdonors (Doug Hanto at Beth Israel) turned hypocrite and at a public meeting announced that he would accept solicited donors. 

I would never ask--then is not the Gift of Life.  Some of this is more akin to teaching folks how to beg.  If family or friend were interested and could take the risk, they would offer.  In my opinion, is pathetic that dialysis and transplant centers are coaching/teaching this.  Even giving conversation scripts.  Easy for someone with two kidneys to tell the person on dialysis to go home and ask family or friend for a kidney.  I feel sad for these patients.  Sad because many of them are not even candidates.