Possibly Donating

[Darion]

Hello there! My name is Darion. Well, my mother has had PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease) for the vast majority of my life and I've wanted to donate ever since I found out it was possible for me too. However, there are a few things that have kept me from donating so far. The first is my age. I'm seventeen now and won't be able to donate until I turn eighteen in July, but I figured it would be possible for me to do all of the initial testing done now, but I'm not completely sure that that's even legal and that's something my mother and I will discuss soon. The second is the possibility of me having PKD myself since it is a genetic disease, but I got tested last week for that after 3-4 months of intense back pain and I came out negative for the disease (Hooray!). The third is that my mother isn't entirely sure that she wants me to donate to her because of the possible complications. She says she won't rule me out, but that she wants me to do more research and make sure that I'm totally sure about this. (Which I am, I've done the research and it looks to me like I can live a completely normal life with one kidney.)

Anyway, pretty much what I'm here for it to talk to people who have already donated or are thinking about/going to donate. I just want to get an idea of what recovery will be like and what I can expect.

Thanks,
Darion.

[Fr Pat]

Dear Darion,
     At the same time, don't be shy about making sure that your mom's friends, neighbors, co-workers, church/club members, old alumni, etc. are aware of her need and aware of the possibility (and risks) of donating. There might be other potential donors of her age (or older) as well. Some kidney recipients eventually need a second (or third) transplant if the first one fails after a short or long time. Of someone else of your mom's age donates now, you could be "in reserve" for the future if needed, while that potential donor might be judged to be too old in 15 or 20 years. So, just something else to keep in mind.
     best wishes,
         Fr. Pat

[Darion]

Most of my mom's friends, family, and close co-workers have already been asked or been tested with negative results. Right now, her fiance and I are really her only two options. Her fiance is getting tested soon and if he ends up being a match for her, he will be the one who'll donate. But if he's not a match, then I'm pretty much the only one left.

That said, I am not thinking about doing this because I may be the only one left. I've been telling my mother for the last three years that if she ever needed me to, I'd be her donor. I've had a long time to think this through and this is the decision I've come to. Hopefully my mom's fiance will be a match and I can save mine for if anything goes wrong, but if she needs me then I want to do this.

[Michael]

Darion,

There are many resources available to you on the LDO web site. Click on "Kidney," "Experiences," and "Buddies" in the menu of links above for educational and support resources.

Let us know if you have any specific questions about the donation experience. As far as recovery, you can see the results of research into that question on this LDO page: https://livingdonorsonline.org/kidney/kidney5.htm

[Fr Pat]

     Just another option to keep in mind: if her fiance (or other person) is healthy enough to donate safely, but is not a match for her, sometimes a "swap" with another family in a similar situation can be arranged. www.paireddonation.org or www.kidneyregistry.org
          Fr. Pat

[PhilHoover]

Darion,

I sure wish every "almost eighteen" was as kind-hearted and generous as you seem to be!

I agree with what Father Pat has suggested...but I'd also like to suggest:

1) Talk with your Pastor, Priest, or Rabbi.    You need a good spiritual perspective on what it means to become an organ donor.

2) Talk with your own physician.   Yes, you can live very well with one kidney...if you have two very, very good kidneys from the start.

3) Keep all of us informed....we are here to help.

Blessings.

Phil Hoover
Chicago

[Aries7]

Hi Darion and welcome!

First off, I want to say I think it is fantastic that you are so willing to help your Mother! As far as recovery, this is different for everyone and comlpications can happen. In my case, I was quite sore but they give you pain meds to manage this. I got very bad gas pains about a day and a half after the surgery. This was caused by the gas they pump in to you during surgery. Until it all works it way back out, it can be uncomrtable and cause pain. Moving around/walking can actually help move this along faster. I also developed a rash on my stomach about a day after the surgery. This was caused by something I was allergic to that was used during surgery, but they do not know what. This did take several rounds of Prednisone to get rid of, but did go away. (This also is not a common reaction. Just one of many side effects that can happen.) Also, none of this was so bad that I was ever sorry I donated. I would absolutely, without question do it all over again if given the opportunity.

I am wishing you and your Mother all the best. Please do keep us posted how things are going for both of you.

Linda