A favor to ask

[Prelude_Sarah]

Boy, I sure do post a lot here!  
I have a favor to ask of everyone.  As you all know, my donation date is coming up fast - May 4th.  I am trying so so hard to feel positive.  I wake up every morning with a panic attack, I'm having trouble eating and sleeping.  It has become somewhat normal to throw up at night
I think it's imperative that I somehow change my thinking.  BELIEVE ME, I am doing my very best.  I am just so scared.

The favor is this.  Please respond to this post with some of the most positive experiences that came from donating.  ANYTHING positive!  Whether it be that you happened to like your hospital room a lot, or maybe you got a lot of good sleep that you needed during recovery, maybe your relationship with the recipient is enhanced ten fold, perhaps you met someone along the journey that has enhanced your life, maybe you happened to find a lot of strength on the morning of your surgery, perhaps you healed up with no hick ups, maybe you really enjoyed your morphine drip (just a joke!).  I'm sure you get the idea...but I've got to latch onto positive thoughts now.  I'm so exhausted from the worry.  I can't take anymore.  I need reassurance so bad.

[audrey12]

I really recommend you figure out what is scaring you so much.  I know there can be a lot of reasons, but if you can pinpoint the main thing upsetting you, then you can deal with that and hopefully move on with no worries.

That being said, my experience was almost 100% positive.  The best thing: I had six weeks off work, and spent the first two on "vacation" since I had to travel for the procedure.  My husband came along and I recuperated at a relative's house, which allowed me to get to know her very well, and all my cousins who came regularly to visit and just hang out.  It was one of the most relaxing vacations we ever took! 

I was able to read for pleasure as much as I wanted since I had no work deadlines.

I lost 14 lbs. from the time I started the colon cleanout to the day I was discharged.

Everybody I met blessed me and told me they admired me.  It's sometimes hard to take and a little embarassing, but boy, it makes you feel good to be admired for something you did.

It's been three years and my recipient has since passed away from cancer, but in my heart I am very content with my decision and I still feel like I can talk the talk, because I walked the walk.

Best wishes and I hope everything works out well for you.

[shelley]

Sarah,  I haven't had the privelege of donating yet (I'm so jealous of you) but here's a link to a wonderful cartoon that I read over and over.  It's by Jana Christy, who donated her kidney to her brother.  I think you'll like it! and it'll make you laugh!  http://flotsamandjetpacks.com/the-kidney-thing/

[Orchidlady]

Sarah,
Know that you are not alone in your feelings. Your description is exactly what I was feeling - having never been in the hospital before I know what it was - fear of the unknown.

I will tell you that after all the fear, fretting, crying and stewing over the upcoming operation, after it was over and done with my first thought was that it wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be in my fertile imagination! Why had I been so upset over this!

It will be okay. What I did myself to relieve my panic and upset was to concentrate on doing things that I enjoyed doing and were relaxing to me. It helped to calm me and take my mind off of things.

Know that it will be okay, your feelings are normal, and we are all behind you.

[snatiep]

I am most certainly not one to start up a conversation about my donation to my sister, I don't like the attention and pats on the back,  but I secretly do puff up my chest when I see my Sister playing with her kids.

I too was pretty nervous prior to the surgery and I can absolutely say it was a very, very positive experience. 

If I could donate my kidney again.......I would do it again without hesitation!  Absolutely no question.

Don't worry,  you'll go through the donation like a Champ!

[Aries7]

Hi Sarah!

I am so sorry you are so scared, but I really believe this is quite normal. I have several positives. First off, I had excellent nurses before and after surgery. They were extremely kind to me and took such good care of me. I was happy to see my husband feel better and have so much more energy. I also really enjoyed the time we were able to spend together post surgery while we healed up. The time off of work was pretty nice too!

Is there something in partcular that is scaring you? I can tell you (from experience) the mind is a powerful thing and very capable of forming some very powerful scary images. The idea of surgery always mortified me. I ended up having a hysterectomy 5 months prior to donating my kidney. (this was my first major surgery) I think that really helped me because I then knew what to expcect during surgery. I can honestly tell you that surgery was nowhere near as bad as my mind had imagined it, and please believe me when I tell you I was a HUGE whimp prior to this. This has definately toughened me up and made me so much less afraid of doctors, hospitals etc.

One thing that helped me was to think past the surgery date and focus on afterwards as really and truly, it will be over before you know it! I have complete faith in you that you are going to do marvelous - I mean that!! You feel free to post here as much as you need to - we will all get you through this. Before you know it, you will be posting here telling all of us all about your surgery.


You will do great Sarah! We are all here for you!

Linda

[Fr Pat]

Dear Sarah,
      Hey! I certainly DID enjoy my morphine drip (no joke) and I hope you will too! There is pain involved, so don't be shy about taking advantage of what is offered. "Dope-on-a-rope" is great. Live it up!
      A thought: folks on this site have all sorts of spiritual beliefs (or lack of them). Some donors have said that they asked their church or synagogue (or even one they were not really members of) to pray for them. Not by name, but "We pray for someone who will soon be donating a kidney to help someone else. We pray for success in the surgery, and for strength and comfort for both." Some donors have said that they felt very comforted in knowing that someone was praying for them. Some donors have even gone to a service where others gathered around and placed hands on them to pray for them. Or if you have some friend who REALLY believes in prayer ("religious nut-case") go ahead and ask her/him to pray for you and your sister. Couldn't hurt.  It might be helpful to recheck into whatever spiritul roots you might have and see what may be found there for this special time.
     My own personal experience: I have a lot of high ideals, but often don't live up to them very well. O.K.  I admire good things that others have done, but often don't do much to imitate them. O.K. When I gave a kidney I thought "Wow, that was a really neat thing to do!" Sort of like hitting a bases-loaded home run when you're usually lucky to even get to first base. So, if the idea appeals to you, go ahead and say to yourself "No matter how much I may mess up the rest of my life, I'm going to do ONE beautiful thing that I'll always be proud of."  If that seems selfish for you, forget about it. Worked for me, so I pass it on for what it's worth.
     best wishes,
         Fr. Pat

[PhilHoover]

without the help of the LORD, and the love/concern/assistance of my church family.

Mine is a "God story" if ever there was one...

I found out that one of my college professors (from the mid 1980s) needed a kidney transplant.  I found out on FaceBook of all places....

and yes, I'm so thankful to the LORD for helping me, inspiring me, directing me, and healing my body after the surgery.

The spiritual dimension was absolutely ESSENTIAL in the wonderful experience for me.


Phil Hoover
Chicago

[Sarah in Maine]

Oh, so many good things.  While my mother was on dialysis for 10 months she had her access thing up in her juggular so she couldn't shower, swim, or let my daughter give her a proper hug.  The joy when that came out (with her successful new kidney transplant in and working well) was so awesome, watching my daughter run up to her and give her a big ole bear hug!  Its been two years now and at our Easter family celebration we are back to taking her life for granted....you know, regular family trivial complaints & such.  Not that it is good to take anything for granted (especially not any ONE), but the fact that we CAN, as compared to all of those holidays where we weren't sure if this would be the last christmas with grandma, the last birthday with grandma, etc, etc.  A gift of health, a gift of life, it really is a gift of hope. 

Best of luck to you & your recipient!
--Sarah

[ohtobeahayes]

The anticipation can be nerve wracking, but on the day of surgery, you get prepped, and then they hit ya with a little something and you're still awake and feeling floaty...then GOODNIGHT! In about 30 seconds you wake up, and it's a done deal. You're on the other side.
There is pain involved, and like Fr Pat said, dope on a rope is the best ever. Get as comfy as you can, eat when you can, and get up and walk as soon as you can.  Then it's vacation time: someone will cook for you in the hospital, and you get to go home and rest and be pampered. Your awesome body will heal, your awesome kidney will pee you peeing.
While there are times when it will feel like it's taking forever to heal, truly, before any time has passed, you'll be 3 months out, 6 months out, 9 months out and so on- most likely feeling like nothing at all happened.  You'll see the wonder of what you've done, and you'll remember how horribly nervous you were beforehand and know how to offer compassion to someone else before their surgery when they are scared.
We're going to get you through this! Maybe now is a good time to think of something that's just for you, for ...say 6 weeks after surgery?  Maybe book a pedi or massage or haircut or something or ....anything at all that you love and would look forward to? 
It's a few more days! We're gonna get you through!
I don't have one negative thing to say about my experience. The whole thing was incredible from start to finish.  My prep nurse happened to also be a kidney donor (!!!) and she'd also had a hysterectomy before donating a kidney. It was a little bit amazing. You will be well taken care of and looked out for, and we will send lots of love to you to help.
Hang in there!
Nicki

[trixieindixie]

Hi --  your donation date is my 11th wedding anniversary.  I'm very happily married to a wonderful man, so for me, it's a day that means: love, support, kindness, lots of humor and fun times, togetherness and being connected to another human being in a special way.

I hope you, too, will experience all these things on May 4th!

Best of luck to you and the recipient.  You have more people than you even know rooting for you both!

[Michael Weil]

As I got closer and closer to my donation date, the nervousness increased. I made a very conscious effort to acknowledge each of my fears and then try to move them aside, so that I went into the operation with as positive attitude as possible. I remain convinced that doing so helped me make a quick and complete recovery from the operation. The fears you are feeling are totally natural.

There were a lot of positives that came out of my experience. Perhaps the longest-lasting one is that it's my opinion that one seldom has the opportunity to make such a real and potentially long-lasting, substantive effect on another persons life. The gift of an organ is such a unique and special gift to provide. For me, as a donor, I continue to  feel pleased that I was able to provide my kidney and the potential for a healthier and more enriching life for my recipient.

You're almost there---good luck!

[llinton98]

Hi Sarah,

I was pretty freaked out throughout the whole process but a relaxation cd that was recommended to me by another donor really helped: http://www.healfaster.com/. I ordered it two weeks before my surgery and listened to it every night before going to sleep. It helped me to stay positive, to find a happy place, and to set some short and long term goals for my recovery. 

Some nice things I wasn't expecting:

The nursing care I received post-op was incredible. I felt truly pampered.
I felt discomfort more than actual pain.
I was walking the day after my surgery - you couldn't keep me in bed once the catheter was out. I was so joyous!
That your nurse can give you a drug called Zofran to alleviate any nausea you might experience from your IV meds -Yipee!!!
That I would get to a point where it was easy to forget I had even had surgery but for the very small scars I have.
That my life would be forever changed in the loveliest way because I had been lucky enough to be healthy enough donate.
Donor euphoria - Nearly a year and a half later I am still riding the high.

Wishing you good health and abundant happiness.

Laura`

[valentine]

Sarah,
I donated a kidney to my (then) 14-year-old daughter. It all happened so fast there wasn't time for what you are describing. One day in late May both of her kidneys stopped working - we had no clue till then that there was anything wrong. Mid-June was the transplant. I didn't think twice before blurting out in the ER that day in May that she can have one of my kidneys! Thank goodness that after all the testing and matching we were a "better than average parent/child match".
There are so many positives from this experience, and I honestly cannot think of a negative.
You will be pampered with the care you get in the hospital. (Donors go in healthy and come out having to recuperate! My room was a suite!!) The nurses catered to both of us. Of course she was in a different part of the hospital but they actually hand-carried notes back and forth between the two of us!!
I had time off work, people from my church brought meals over for our family, and the best thing of all was that somehow the relationship between my daughter and I became much much deeper and closer. To know that she was alive and living a "normal" life and doing "normal" things instead of being in dialysis three days a week because I'd given her a part of myself - yes it does make you proud. But it is kind of sad when people find out what you've done and "praise" you for it. I like to think that anyone would have done the same thing, however I know better than that. I'm glad you are doing what you are doing for your sister, and I will send out positive thoughts/vibrations your way.
Valentine

[Prelude_Sarah]

I just want to say, to each one of you: thank you, from the bottom of my heart for your support.  This forum has become a source of real comfort for me.  This thread in particular, has been so helpful.  Thank you for sharing all of these positive things with me.  I literally check to see if there's a new "happy story" on my thread here about 10 times a day lol...so keep them coming!!  And again, my most sincere, heart felt gratitude to all of you.

Sarah

PS: Pre-Op appointment was today.  It went well except for the fact that the social worker is concerned about how much anxiety I have over this.  Apparently I'm the most "freaked out" donor they've ever seen...lol...oh boy.