Introduction and a question

[lbattle]

Hello!

I am very enthusiastically and optimistically beginning the testing process to donate a kidney to my uncle. My mom's side of the family has a strong history of kidney failure, but my mom doesn't have it (yay), and neither do I. My grandma had a kidney transplant in the early 90's from a deceased donor and now it is time for my uncle to have one. He has been one dialysis for a couple of years now and it's taking a major toll on him.
I'm optimistic, because I am overall fairly healthy and I'm very open to a direct donation or paired donation. I think both have some really great "pros".
My family is supportive. My husband is very supportive and so are my daughters (they are 12 and 14). My mom wishes she could donate instead of me, but that just isn't possible.
My question is, I feel horribly selfish with my uncle being as sick as he is, but before I knew this was going to happen I paid a significant amount of money to go on an out of state, week long trip with my daughter that were both REALLY looking forward to. The trip is June 18-24. Is it horrible of me to want to postpone surgery until I return that last week in June? I would really appreciate a straightforward answer. If it's a risky thing to do, then clearly my uncle's life takes precedence over ANY trip/vacation.

I've really enjoyed gathering so much information and reading all of your experience...good and bad!

Leah

[elephant]

Dear Leah,

You said your are 'beginning' the testing process.  Donor vetting can take several months.  I got through the process in less than two months, to keep my recipient off dialysis.  But that required special requests and lots of coordination. 

Also bear in mind that not all potential donors are approved.

You'd need to let the transplant center know your availability, to properly schedule testing, as you go through the process.

Love, elephant

[Fr Pat]

     Taking good care of yourself and the rest of the family is an important part of your preparation to donate. Whatever you can do to strengthen yourself and your family psychologically and spiritually before the big adventure starts can be a good investment.
     Fr. Pat

[lbattle]

Thank you very much for your replies.

So, elephant, maybe three months wouldn't be that much of a stretch to wait? I love the saying "hope for the best but prepare for the worst". To me, that's just practical. So, I'm approaching this much the same way. I'm preparing as though I'll be approved, but know that I could easily be deferred.

Father Pat,
That's great advice. I was in a car accident in December that left me with a broken ankle. I've developed arthritis, and gained some weight. One of the main things I'm doing right now is starting an exercise program to get healthier and lose some weight, getting prepared financially, and also talking with my family about what to expect and thoughts on what we're doing.
I'm within the guidelines for weight, but I've read so many times that being a healthy weight is vital to a good recovery, that I want to make sure I've done everything possible to help that along!

Leah

[RKEM]

You are seriously considering doing something that is the opposite of selfish. So much so that you should be ready for people thinking that you must be crazy to go through with it. So no, I don't think it's selfish. Recovery is going to take quite some time and have an impact on those around you so finding a time that work for you AND your family is important. Even if you are approved as a donor prior to your trip, I'm sure you can work with the transplant coordinator and transplant team to find a time that works for you.

I was approved in July and donated in September because with work, it just wasn't possible. I don't know if it affected who got my kidney but the transplant team was very open and understanding.