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Author Topic: Very Emotional Letdown!  (Read 110 times)

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Offline himer24

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Very Emotional Letdown!
« on: September 11, 2018, 11:26:02 PM »
Well, i had the most emotional week ever; i was told last tuesday from my transplant coordinator that i was approved and they want to have a meeting with my wife and me this tuesday too discuss recovery and if my wife would be there for me because she owns a business in case i need her while recovering . Then on friday i was told that the meeting tuesday is cancelled and that i was disapproved on donating and didnt give me a good reason and then told me that they have another donor for the girl i was donating too and to not tell her and then told me to have a good weekend without giving me any kind of support "psychiatrist or a donate advocate" to chat with after this devastating news that i just got. The girl i was going to donate too dad is my best friend and they told me to not tell her? I ran down their house and told them all what was going on and we all were in disbelief. I already told them last tuesday that i was approved and we all celebrated and i posted the great news on facebook and then i get this bad news on friday. I am still depressed and in a state of shock. But, the good news is they called the girl i was donating too and told her that they have a donor for her. I am so happy about that because that was the main objective. But i am really dissapointed that the emotional roller coaster ride they put me on. How would any of you guys feel if this situation happened too you?

Offline Fr Pat

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Re: Very Emotional Letdown!
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2018, 01:53:56 AM »
     That's terrible that they treated your emotions with such disrespect. They really should have taken the time to speak more with you, and with the family. But it is, of course, great that she has another donor. Probably picked because of being an even better genetic match?
     Keep in mind that donated kidneys do not last forever. Many do indeed last for decades, but others fail after a much shorter time. So she may in the future need a second transplant, and you could, if you wish, stay "in reserve" for that situation. Or (once your emotions have had time to heal) you might consider going ahead and donating to someone else?
    Fr. Pat

Offline Orchidlady

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Re: Very Emotional Letdown!
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2018, 04:26:07 PM »
So very sorry to learn of such shabby treatment. You would think they would have been more tactful and respectful of you as a donor.
Donated Left Kidney to Husband 10/30/07
Barnes Jewish Hospital
St. Louis, MO

Offline elephant

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Re: Very Emotional Letdown!
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2018, 02:26:33 PM »
Dear himer,

That is quite a surprise.  I should think they disapproved you due to the availability of another donor who does not already have a prior kidney donor status.   Or a  great match of some kind.
I think having one person donate both a kidney and partial liver is not the first choice of the transplant team, as they are trying to protect your health. Might go so far as to say they made a good choice  - liver donation is risky, and the long term outcomes for dual kidney/liver donors is unknown.  (The long term outcome for single organ donors is not really known!)

Did you ask for additional support when you were informed of the change? 

Anyway, you will get support here.  You made a wonderful offer, and I'm sure your intended recipient is most appreciative!  Since you will not have a second surgery you will be available to help her after her surgery.  And you will continue to be available in the unfortunate case that the transplant fails. 

As for how I would have felt - well, I was certain that I was willing to donate but would have been quite relieved if another donor was found instead! 

Love, elephant


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