I'm at a total loss what to do. I have an in-law who needs a new liver after many years of alcohol abuse; a surprise to some of us. We're at the early stages of the live donor process, and I just discovered that I'm the same blood type as this relative. Another family member and I are the only ones that know this right now, and I'm not getting any pressure to take next steps. But I do imagine that next steps would be the expectation, and it's something I can't reconcile. I've had many surgeries in the past ten years, mostly orthopedic, and I'll always have some problems as a result. I very much don't want to go down such a serious road as a live donor, and I'm not close with this relative. But I do care very much for some of our shared family members, who will be devastated if a donor isn't identified in time.
The surgery, the pain, the recovery, the additional scars and the risk... my heart sinks at the thought of it. And with that I have little faith that this person will be able to stay away from alcohol long term. It's only been months of sobriety at this point and only after they nearly died.
I don't know what I will decide, but I don't know how to say "no" if I do end up being a viable donor and don't wish to, especially if close liver donor options otherwise aren't on the table. I feel so terrible.