Living Kidney donation

[emilywood23]

I have never considered donating any part of my body alive or deceased.  I have had a lot of issues growing up my mother left my sister (3 years younger than me), Dad and I (I was 8 at the time)  We lived with our Aunt and Uncle (they had 4 boys on a dairy farm)..we felt loved and cared for there and felt like we were their own children.  Then we lived back with our father for a while and had babysitters come to the house after school and during the summers.  Then we moved and lived with our grandparents...our father stayed in Cortland, NY with his girlfriend and her son during the week and on the weekends would bring them home with them.  We never had any time to spend with our dad alone...dad married her and adopted her son...it  was rocky at first but she was very good to my sister and I and walked me down the aisle when I got married the first time...She left dad..and it was very soon after she was there for my first child's birth...I don't have a connection to her anymore...which bothers me but life goes on...My father was abusive to my mother, step mother (verbally and physically)..he was also that way with us kids as well... I have bipolar in my family and I was diagnosed with it in 1999.  I was just saying all of this so you would get an idea of my background and history.  My father never told  me that he was proud of me never showed me any attention unless it was to yell or hit us with a black leather belt that he'd make us go get, and he never ever told us (my sister and I) he loved us.  I recently lost my mother, after reuniting with her 10 years after she left us in 1975, she always lived (was born in Texas) in Texas so my sister and I were raised in Upstate NY, so it was difficult for us to have a really good relationship with our mother.  We really didn't know her as a Mom-She also didn't mention to us that we had a brother and sister until we had made plans to reunite with her in 1985..that was a shock..it kind of felt like she replaced us with two more....like we didn't matter...of course our father told us one story and mom another....anyways our mother passed away 3 days after my birthday and I flew to Texas and was there one day before my step father decided to turn off  her life support while all of the family members were there so she wouldn't be alone.   It was difficult for me to be there alone my sister had been diagnosed with cancer and could not travel...my brother and sister in Texas didn't like me very much due to how I had talked to our mother about how I felt and the way I dealt with her leaving us...It really impacted my life greatly...  I did very well on my own down there dealing with mom's passing and then coming home..(I have a great support system and family members home)  my sister and I got very close after mom's passing and we spent a great deal of time shopping (just the two of us) for Christmas..taking her to her chemo appointments etc.  I am so glad that God gave us the chance to really enjoy each other and appreciate who we are as people not just sisters...she didn't understand bipolar and had problems with it..she overlooked that after mom's passing and we just liked each other and had fun..she passed away on January 27th 2011 she had turned 41 on December 6th...she was a great person and I admire her to this day...such a strong person she never gave up fighting....I decided to be a donor to a friend because life is short and I have lost two people in my life...If someone could have cured or saved them I would have been forever grateful...I don't know any other way to explain it than to say I have had a message from God to do this for this person.  I think my past has a lot to do with my reasons for doing this for this person...I am not scared at all, just something is telling me to do it and so I called did all the paperwork and is ready to be sent back...then it goes from there...There's only two things that concern me 1.  Because I have bipolar they will hold that against me... 2.  The one thing that's really bothering me is ,,, what if any or does any one know the percentage rate for a healthy 21 year old , 18 year old , or 12 year old may possibly need a transplant (kidney)???I have a son, and two younger daughters and I would feel bad if they needed a kidney and I was the only match but couldn't because I only had one left...any advice...  Other than that I have done a lot of research, was going to nursing school (so I have quite a bit of knowledge) and have gone online to get online donating buddies to talked to and I am planning also to discuss it with my "shrink" and counselor as well.  I'd appreciate any help anyone might give me sorry I rattled on just wanted to give some history that's all thank you and God Bless

[PaulaHalvo]

Emily, I'm not familiar with the impact of bipolar medications on kidneys.  You might want to look that up.  Many of  the medications we take can be harmful.  I have had several friends with bipolar disorder, and you really do need to take your meds, so for you, giving them up isn't an option.  Another factor to consider is that many people seem to battle depression after donation.  I'm not sure why, but it is mentioned often enough to be a real concern.  All you can do is talk to the people at the transplant center, they will know if you are able to donate or not.  I wish you the best.

[CK]

I know that lithium is very hard on the kidneys, so I would suspect that being on lithium might disqualify you. They also do psychiatric evaluations (at least they did at my center) to determine if people are psychologically stable enough to donate.

I don't have kids, but it seems like many donors who do have that worry that their kids might need a kidney someday. I don't know the percentages but if there is no history of kidney disease in your family, I'd imagine it is the same risk everyone has of developing chronic kidney disease. But these are all factors you will have to think through carefully...talking to people and research helped me!

Good luck.

[mobico]

I also do not know the percentages of healthy people who end up contracting end-stage kidney disease. It would appear to be quite small, however (how many people do you know personally who went from good health to requiring a kidney transplant)? I imagine that most people, if they were bothered by this issue, thought as I did (and I have seven children, BTW); namely, that I would rather definitively save a life now as opposed to the remote possibility of saving the life of one who is closer to me in the future. Even if you knew the exact numbers, there is no guarantee that your children won't fall into that tiny minority. Clearly, however, this is an issue that one must deal and come to terms with before donating.

[smudge]

In the UK, being on lithium is an immediate no for being a donor.  I guess US centres have different protocols but as lithium is tough on the kidneys as CK said, that may well be the case the world over.