New, looking for friends who understand the process.

[starpunctures]

Hello.
So a few months ago my friend told me about his mom needing a kidney. I offered to test and that was sort of the end of it. About a month ago he asked if I was serious. I said yes. Met her, took a bunch of tests... and now I am a CT scan of my abdomen away from donating my kidney.
My family doesn't really say one way or another about my donation. My fiancé isn't exactly happy about it.
Looking for people who can talk and share their experiences with me.

 

[Michael]

In addition to direct responses you'll likely to your message, you can request a Living Donor Buddy. Look above for the word "Buddies" just under the main menu bar. Click on that word and you'll be taken to the Living Donor Buddy page where you can browse potential buddies, make a selection, and start a conversation with someone who has been through the process.

Best of luck, and let us know what questions you might have!

[da6]

Message me and I'd be happy to talk to you.  I donated to my husband in December 2012 so it's fresh in my mind.

[Mizchelle]

Donated in February.  Hubby was totally against it...but by default is now over it because it’s done, I've educated him more about the whole thing and he sees that I am just fine after the donation.  Family was/is very weird about it, which caused anxiety but none of that matters now because know there is no doubt in my mind that did the "right" thing and modestly proud of myself that I did.

The suggestion to get a buddy to accompany you in this process is an excellent idea. This forum is a great resource to refer to also.

Big Hugs 

[elephant]

Dear starpunctures,

My husband was naturally concerned about my donation to my Dad two years ago.  I'm sure it was out of love for me!  We disussed it at length and he agreed that he would want to do the same thing if he were in my position. 

I do think respect between husband and wife is of great importance, so this needs to be handled with delicacy.  If you look for a buddy, see about one for your fiancee as well!  I wish you the best as you continue with your testing.

Love, elephant

[Oldnslow]

I had various reactions in my extended family from what a wonderful thing, we're scared for you, you saved my day's life, to you are an idiot.    In the end I donated because my brother needed it, I could help, and I thank God that I did.    Some of my in laws still think I was an idiot.   It does not matter.   What did matter occurred, and worked, and still works, going on our sixth year now.

Good luck to you!

[kdub]

Hi Starpunctures,

Might I suggest that before you go any further in the process you take out life insurance?  Chances are, you will not be able to get the lowest rate on health insurance again, after your donation.  Also, when you apply, they will ask you if you have any surgeries planned.  If you do, they will have you wait to apply until after your surgery.  Possibly consider getting  short term disability insurance?

One other thing...  I would not suggest donating unless you are quite sure about your source of health insurance.  If anything goes wrong, outside of the immediate surgery, you or your health insurance will have to pay for that.  I would not expect any support from the transplant center.

Good Luck!

kdub

[starpunctures]

Thank you for all of the replies.

Hi Starpunctures,

Might I suggest that before you go any further in the process you take out life insurance?  Chances are, you will not be able to get the lowest rate on health insurance again, after your donation.  Also, when you apply, they will ask you if you have any surgeries planned.  If you do, they will have you wait to apply until after your surgery.  Possibly consider getting  short term disability insurance?

One other thing...  I would not suggest donating unless you are quite sure about your source of health insurance.  If anything goes wrong, outside of the immediate surgery, you or your health insurance will have to pay for that.  I would not expect any support from the transplant center.

Good Luck!

kdub

I do have great health and life insurance. I work for a very good company who even pays me while I am out for 30days, and gives me 70% of my pay after 30 days. So I have all of those bases covered.


As far as my fiancé and I. He's getting better with it. He supports me, but he isn't exactly happy about the whole thing.
I worked with the social worker today, she suggested I bring him next time so that she can work with him too.

[peterduvall]

Star

Hi, Peter here. I donated to my father 5 years ago at Columbia Presbyterian here in NYC. First off, congratulations on even considering donation. A big part of my pre surgery screening was not just physical but psychological. They really want to be sure your ok with it all - not an employee looking to give a kidney to a boss for a possible raise or something like that.

I was lucky, as for me it was an easy decision, donating to a father I had a great relationship with, good match, plus he was always a pain in the @ss to shop for anyway, so here was something I had that he could really use.

Every situation is very different and you just have to make sure it's right for you.

good luck!!!

Peter

PS - I had no issues getting new health insurance 3 years post surgery. Remember if you are able to donate that means you have been tested intensely and are probably healthier than the general population.