scarred.

[JOSELYNA]

my name is joselyn aviles i am 30 years old and am married with 3 wonderful children. My father is very ill and needs a liver transplant, I did the testing and i am a great match. So no worries good to go time to talk to the social worker etc but all of a sudden i got a panic attack. I want to help him i want him to live, but i have read some horrible stories about donor deaths and horrible recovery. I just want to be ok after, i do not want to die. how do i find strength?

[elephant]

Dear Joeselyna,

I donated a kidney to my Dad.  I tried to become as educated as possible about the process, and discussed everything with my husband.  His support was essential for me.  Naturally his primary concern was my welfare, which provided a good balance. 

Since Daddy already had a heart transplant, dialysis was not an option. My siblings are overweight, Mom was over 70, and I was fit and in good health.  I was aware of this: "If I don't donate, he'll die."  I think many donors face this same pressure.  I found I had to accept it as a part of my decision.

Just subsquent to the surgery I developed ulcerative colitis and been unwell since.  There is no way to know if the stress of surgery was a trigger, but I suspect it.   Nevertheless, I am grateful that I was able to donate, and am happy to see Daddy enjoying life. 

I would make the same choice again, and remain at peace with the outcome.  If I had been unable to donate, I would have had a different kind of struggle. 

Love, elephant