Hi Davey,
It's very admirable for you to consider donating a kidney to your friend's mum, however your decision turns out. I thought I'd try to lend some insight to some of your questions as well, and definitely feel free to follow up. For starters, if you want to try to locate information online you may want to browse the Living Donors Online website:
https://livingdonorsonline.org/kidney/kidney.htm I also found WebMD's site useful for an informative and accessible overview of living organ donation, chronic kidney disease, the process of a transplant, etc.:
http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/living-organ-donation-topic-overviewThose sites may answer many of the questions you have (especially related to risks, outcomes, success rates, policies, procedures...basically all the medical details), and as Smudge mentioned you can definitely get in contact with the Transplant Coordinator at the hospital or transplant center where your friend's mum is being treated. Every transplant center has a coordinator, living donor advocate, and/or social worker whose role is to provide information and answer questions for living donors. There is no commitment, and everything is confidential.
But to your questions:
1) I read you shouldn't do contact sports if you have 1 kidney. I like horse riding and want to be a jungle explorer and do a lot of out there things like swimming with whales. Would having one kidney put me at risk as I like to do / want to do these things?They recommend that people with one kidney should beware of contact sports (e.g. boxing, [American] football, hockey), because those contact sports can damage a kidney, just from the contact. However, with the activities you've listed I don't think those would be consider extremely "risky." The idea is you likely don't want to put yourself in a position to rupture your one kidney from heavy external impact.
2) How long does it take to recover from the op?There's always a chance of complications that could extend the recovery, but in most cases donors may be discharged from the hospital 48 hours later. Most people are encouraged by the staff to be moving around 24 hours later. In my case, I had a minor complication and was in the hospital Monday for the surgery and not discharged until Thursday after lunch.
I was told many donors can return to work after 2 weeks, and I certainly could have but I still felt very low-energy and my job allowed me several more weeks of medical leave, which I accepted. I probably could have returned to work in 4-6 weeks at almost full strength.
3) If you have been a living donor, did it affect your life in any way after you donated your kidney? For example, can you still do everything you used to do? Do you still have the same amount of energy? Can you still eat junk food like you used to?This question made me laugh a bit to myself, but it's a great question. It definitely changed my life in a significant way, but more so emotionally because being a living donor became a new part of my identity. I also donated to my mom, which had its own implications. But physically and health-wise? No, there hasn't been any significant changes. It took me a while to regain my energy as part of recovery, but I don't think I lost any energy. I was never big on junk food, but there are no dietary restrictions (including alcohol). Kidney donors are encouraged to live a "balanced, healthy lifestyle" with a balanced diet and regular exercise, but that's something we all should be doing in theory. The idea is that obesity, heart disease, and the like are risk factors for kidney disease, and with one kidney you should do your best to decrease the risk of kidney disease. The best way to do that is by getting regular exercise and eating a balanced diet.
4) After the op, do you need to lie down and rest or can you sit up and do some things?Immediately after the operation, I was down until at least the following afternoon. They encourage you to sit up and walk around the floor as soon as possible to speed the recovery but to be quite honest the anesthetic, pain medication, and the actual pain was too much for me to even want to move around much. I was quite happy sleeping and watching tv. I had visitors and texted quite a few people the day of the surgery though too. The anesthetic and the medication take a while to wear off. Starting on day 3 and afterward my mobility improved significantly, still had some soreness of course, but no more need for medication.
5) Does your life expectancy or quality of life change in any way?No. Well, some say the jury is still out on more specific, long-term health outcomes for living donors for other reasons I'm not all that well-versed in. But in general there's no evidence to show we have a shorter life expectancy. And definitely no change in quality of life (in my opinion). I'm 28, and I did the transplant literally a year ago yesterday so I might have a bit of a different perspective on this...
6) What laws have you got in place for sick leave from work as a result of the operation?Not sure if you're in the UK or the US, but I'm in the States. I have a full time job, and in general I believe the US Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides up to 16 weeks of protected leave (They referred to it as FMLA Leave). This includes an operation. In my case, the number of years I had been at my job determined how many weeks of leave I received as paid, half-salary, and unpaid. I had 4 weeks of paid medical leave. This is outside of the sick days and vacation days someone may have accrued at their job. If you're in the US as well, you may want to do research with your Human Resources department and they should have information on the leave policy.
7) What tests do they do to confirm you are a match?There's several, but the basics involve blood and urine tests. Beyond that, the Transplant Center will do various other "pre-op" tests that are pretty-much pain free, just to make sure the donor is healthy enough to undergo the donation. The tests can usually be done in one day.
What is the scar like?I had a laparoscopic surgery, which is what most people do now. Mine was robotic-assisted, meaning the surgeon made all of the movements with his/her hands and also had the aid of robotic technology. Tiny cameras/probes are also used so that the surgical team can easily see what's going on without having to be to move things around too much. This allows them to make smaller incisions with minimal scarring because they made the incision with lasers. Anyway, I have 4 small scars, 2 centimeters long on the left side of my abdomen from the cameras/probes. Then, I have a larger incision at my bikini line, 5-6 inches long.
9) What's the chances of success?Living donations are significantly more successful than cadaver donations (not sure on the percentages), mainly because they can do several tests on a living donor to determine the best possible match and create the most favorable conditions for a successful transplant.
10) Do you have links to stories of anyone who is thinking of / has been a living donor? Are there any support groups or information groups/helplines?This forum is a really great place to start. I didn't find it until a year after I donated, and I totally wish I had it for a resources! I don't know of other support groups, although as mentioned before you could contact the Transplant Center. It's much harder than I thought it would be to connect to other living donors and find helpful information and stories, and this forum is the best source of information I've found. The National Kidney Foundation website has some helpful information, but their information for living donors isn't as detailed as what I've found here.
Good luck with your research and your decision.
Take care, hope that helps!
Dora