Dear Scott,
I was very, very sad to hear about your recipient.
At every step of this process, I was asked if I understood that a donated kidney doesn't always "make it" (actually, at the very very beginning of my process, I didn't really know that), and how I would take it if it happened. I always answered, "Well, I would be very sad. But I'd know that I did the right thing, when the chance came up".
The same applies to you, my friend. It sounds as though you are pretty much "together" about this. I hope Matt finds his solution, and that you can keep focusing on the fact that you did everything you could, but Someone else is really pulling the strings.
Be well, Snoopy