J,
I was an altruistic donor to my recipient one year ago this October. The kidney began working fine initially, but within a couple of months, Matt suffered an infection of the ureter which began causing complications and diminished effectiveness of the donor kidney. Over the next several months, surgeons placed and replaced stents and worked on correcting the issues but they worsened. About 10 months post-op, the complications compromised the kidney and the decision was made to remove it, resume dialysis and place Matt back on the transplant list. He is still awaiting a replacement transplant.
We all knew there could be complications, rejection, collateral health implications, etc...but I guess you're never truly prepared as we certainly hope and plan on the best of all possible outcomes. I can only guess how Matt and his family have been impacted and the emotional roller-coaster they've been on, not to mention the uncertainty the future holds.
Turns out I hadn't been prepared to confront this set back either. Although it didn't effect me physically, I've had to deal with the emotional fallout. Wondering why? What was it all for? Did I make a mistake? Did this change me or diminish the experience somehow? Where do I go from this point? How does/will this change my relationship with my recipient? How do I tell my family and will this feed and affirm their "I told you so" attitudes?
Since then, I've had ample opportunity to contemplate my motives for becoming a donor and circumstances as they exist now, and I've come to terms with the following;
I became a donor because I had the ability and someone else had a need. The success or failure of the donation doesn't diminish the value of the gift. Although I decided to provide the gift, ultimately I have no control in the outcome. I chose not to tell my family or friends about the kidney removal as it really isn't relative in that regard.
Maybe most importantly, this entire experience has moved me incredibly and has changed me forever. I would do it all again, without hesitation and I've become a life-long advocate for organ/tissue donation.
I pray the outcome for you and your recipient will be physically more favorable but if not, I hope my experience helps in some small way. My prayers and hopes for you both. Please keep us informed.
Scott