I saw my surgeon yesterday

[poodles]

I saw my surgeon yesterday. My husband had a minor surgical procedure scheduled and we were waiting in pre-op. It turned out the pre-op nurse had been an OR nurse and helped train my surgeon in donor kidney harvesting and we had been chatting about my surgery and donor surgery in general.

My surgeon came over trying to negotiate a ward bed for his next surgery patient. In our hospital surgeries are not started until there is an available and allocated ward bed to avoid congestion in post-op.

I think I'm still in shock from seeing him. The pre-op nurse introduced us as we had just been chatting about him and he basically looked through me like a piece of meat. I didn't expect him to recognize me in that situation but to be ignored by someone who has changed my life so drastically was difficult. It certainly put things into perspective.

It's been almost five very challenging years. If I had met my surgeon under these circumstances prior to donation I very much doubt I would have considered the possibility of donation or recommended anyone else do so.

Looking back his behavior was fairly consistent with the attitude of the donor team after donation. There is a reason that donors have to be highly motivated.

I do have to add that from my husband's perspective his whole experience has been entirely positive and he has been extremely well looked after beyond any reasonable expectations.  We did the donation/transplant in the best place.

[elephant]

Dear Poodles,

Maybe we perceive surgery in such a personal, intimate way that we're disappointed when the surgeon does not remember us? 

I remember meeting the now 'famous' Dr. Mehmet Oz when my Dad was having his heart transplant.  He didn't know me at all, but managed to be very comforting and charming.  He was way at the other end of the charisma scale! 

But we're having surgery, not lunch.

Love, elephant

[Snoopy]

Hi, Poodles.
  I remember being annoyed that I was not able to meet by surgeon beforehand. We met as they were moving me from the gurney to the operating table. Somehow, it just seemed too late to pull out my list of questions.   I mean, I'd been given some chance to discuss my questions with another surgeon, from the transplant program, but I really wanted to size up the fellow who'd be cutting me.  Actually, I guess I shouldn't complain:  we did meet again. I think the day after surgery he blasted into the room, squeezed my foot to wake me up, and asked me if I was OK. I must have said something meaningful like "Uh, what, who, uhhh....", at which point he took off. I never saw him again.
  But, as Elephant put it so nicely, it was surgery, not lunch.  And the surgery went OK for me. I'd prefer that to having had a warm relationship with my surgeon, but a poor outcome.
     Be well, Snoopy

[jgivens]

I feel very blessed that my donor team was extremely caring and compassionate.  I donated at Mayo in MN.  My surgeon, the other doctors on the transplant team, and the floor nurses were extremely kind.  They talked to me like I was their sister.  I have had numerous surgeries with very nice medical staff, however, I have never been treated this kindly.  It was a wonderful experience because I felt they truly cared for me.