an invitation to be glad with me

[shelley]

I have been around this lovely place for about a year, reading, learning and ~yes envying~ those of you who are donors.

Now, at last, I get to be one.

I will get the high privilege of donating my left kidney to my friend Heather on August 8 at Swedish Hospital in Seattle, WA.  Heather lives in Anchorage and I live in northern Indiana and we've never met in person, but became friends online at a mutual interest forum.  She is a truly wonderful person whose suffering has refined her into a compassionate, kind and encouraging friend to many.  From the beginning, it seemed like the right thing to do:  she has Polycystic Kidney Disease and needs a kidney; I have two and only need one.  I'm a very emotional person, but this wasn't an emotional choice, more of a practical one.

Then came the year of trying to convince the hospital that I am healthy.  I'm 60 and while I exercise daily and eat healthy, I have about 30 extra pounds that I've been unsuccessful at losing.  At one point they said my bp was too high at 142/74, so my dr. prescribed dyazide and it went down to 108/65.  Heather had to spend 6 months getting immunized for the hepatitis I had 40 years ago.  All the other tests came out normal, so I guess I'm a chubby healthy person and soon to be a bona fide kidney donor!

I knew that here, I would find people who would rejoice with me, and really understand how excited and thrilled I am.  I've read many of your posts that say you're uncomfortable with all the exclamations of "You're amazing" and "You're a hero" or an angel or something.  Now I'm experiencing that too.  I'm just trying to look at it from their point of view, but really, it's no big deal compared to what Heather has to endure every day.

Thanks for letting me hang around here for so long wishin' and hopin'.  Any words of wisdom/advice would be welcomed.

[Fr Pat]

Dear Shelly,
      Congratulations! Best wishes and prayers for the coming surgery.
      I think you hit it right on the head when you observed that what we donors put up with as far as risks, pains, discomforts, inconveniences, etc. are "no big deal" when compared with what many people with kidney failure have to deal with every day. That's not to minimize or ignore our risks, pains, etc. but they certainly look different when we take the broader view and include the real situations of the intended recipients.
     I hope you'll keep us informed.
          best wishes,
              Fr. Pat

[Oldnslow]

Congratulations Shelly and Good Luck

I'm 59, donated 2.5 years ago and seem to be doing OK.   Sounds like you will as well.  Oh, yeah, I've found at 59 its not as easy staying at the 21  year old weight any more either.  Ha.  But when I was at the Dr two weeks ago, by blood pressure was 110/70 and yes they told me I should lose some weight.  Working on it.

Oldnslow

[APV]

Congratulations Shelley!  You are right, no one other than people here can understand the joy one feels upon getting the green light to become a donor.  I will be donating a kidney to my husband in just 9 days!  No one seems to understand why I am SO excited about it, but I know that people here understand.  Good luck to you and your friend.

Angelica

[tom carr]

Shelly,

Congratulations and good luck. I was 61 when I donated last October. While I did not know the recipient beforehand, I sure do now. And it's a great feeling, one that I'm sure you also will experience. I recovered in a "normal" period of time....even at my advanced age! So you should too... LOL.

Again, good luck!

Tom

[shelley]

Thank you Tom and Oldnslow for your encouraging comments about age!  Yes it does make some things harder that used to be easier, i.e., weight loss, arthritis, eyesight and of course the effects of good ol' gravity.  (As John Mayer says, "Gravity! Stay the hell away from me!")  But I am grateful our kidneys both still work fine. and that donation is one thing we can still do.

Angelica, only 9 days away!  Wow!  I hope you'll update us with your feelings as the day gets closer, and of course all the during and after stuff.  I love reading the stories, never get tired of them.  Have you written a blog or anything yet?

Fr. Pat, you've been the biggest encouragement all along this whole year for me.  You have no idea when you post a reflection or an encouragement, how it helps people who may not even respond.  Recently you said something about making lots of mistakes in your life and that donating a kidney is one thing you can look at and say, "Well, that was well done at least!"  I know I paraphrased a lot, but that really resonated with me.

[Orchidlady]

Congratulations to you both Shelley! Time will pass quickly, but it's nice to have the extra weeks to prepare. Best of luck, and keep us posted.

[Christine Robinson]

congratulations, Shelley! 

I met my recipient the same way: online. It is a wonderful gift to give and a truly life changing, gratifying experience on so many levels. You will never be the same person. Life has a way of showing us that no experience is everything we expect, and no worry comes quite to fruition as we imagine in our worst moments. If you've observed the writings here for a year now, you probably have a strong understanding of that. 

I wish you the very best in your experience as a donor, and that all of the richness that comes from such a gift is yours.  I encourage you to expect good follow-up from your living donor advocacy team, and that you'll take advantage of every opportunity to be reviewed, re-evaluated as time goes on.

Reach out to the group here and to those in your professional circle as needed.

All the very best of luck to you and your recipient!
Christine Robinson

[ohtobeahayes]

Congratulations, Shelley!
That IS so so so so exciting, and the best news we can hope to hear! Please keep us updated on your journey! I love to hear uplifting and encouraging stories!
They don't take it lightly, giving a donor the okay. Since you made it, know you are just as healthy as can be. They'll give her the good kidney and leave you the great one!  I'm very, very happy for you both!
Congrats again!
Nicki

[Aries7]

Hi Shelley!

Congratulation on being approved and getting a date set! That is such an exciting time, making it through all of the testing and finally being given the green light to go ahead. I remember how happy I was - I was thrilled! Donating a kidney is such a life changing experience. (In a very good way!)

I will always remember being a patient on the transplant floor after the surgery. (I was in the hospital for 4 days). One night in the middle of the night, there was a lot of noise in the hallway. I later asked my nurse about that. She said two organs had come in and three people had been called in as possible recipients. One person was called in as a "backup" as there was some question as to if one of the patients may be too ill to receive the organ. If they were to be deemed to be to ill to receive the organ, it would then go to the "backup". I remember thinking how sad that was, that no matter what, one of those people who was called in during the middle of the night, would end up leaving without a new organ. (Not to mention that someone else had to die for those organs to even become available.) That memory will always be with me, and was yet another reminder to me as to what is really important in life. How wonderful that those of us who are healthy are willing to donate and help out another fellow human being. You are making such a positive difference - God Bless You! Please continue to update us as to how you are doing and how things are going. Best of luck to you!

Linda

[shelley]

Thank you, Linda, Nicki, Orchidlady and Christine!  It's more fun to be able to share this news with people like you who've been there and done that.

I like what Christine said about no experience being quite what we expect.  I would never have guessed I would be donating a kidney during my lifetime.  I would never have expected it would take a year just to get approved.  And I never would have guessed that I would meet so many kind and grace-full people along the way.  Every day's a surprise and I look forward to many more.

[littleone60540]

That is great news!! I just donated my left kidney to my sister 3 weeks ago today! It is an amazing experience, one you will not regret. The best advice i could give you is get up and walk as soon as you can. I stood the first night after a 7:30am surgery. It hurt like hell! Then the following morning i walked around the nurses station, and by "walk" i mean shuffled my feet very slow in tiny steps. It hurt so much to walk i can't describe it but when i got back to my bed i felt a little stronger and a little better. I walked 5 times the day after surgery and while it hurt every time i was walking, each time i returned to my hospital bed i felt better.

I know exactly what you mean about people saying, "you are such a great person". It is something that only we will ever understand. People would always say, "wow you are donating a kidney to your sister, you are such a great person", and i would always tell them that my sister was the amazing one. And i still feel that way. I also felt the same way about waiting to get the green light. I felt like if for some reason i could not be the one to donate to my sister i would have been really disappointed. I wanted to help her so much and i fee so blessed that i am the one that was able to donate to her.

I am so excited for you!! It will be a great experience and even though you don't want to hear it....you are an amazing person!!!!
Much love and best of luck to you and your recipient!!
Sara

[Scott337]

Shelley,

Congratulations and this IS A BIG DEAL my dear.  Your courage, strength and selfless gift will give your friend Heather a new lease on life.  She is so fortunate to have found a friend in YOU.  I can't wait to hear how you feel about your gift of life after you've donated.  Please keep us in mind while you prepare and afterwards.  Please know, we will surely be thinking about you, but even more importantly....    We will all still be here to talk with, to share in your feelings should you chose to share with us and to rejoice in how you feel about having given something so precious to someone you care about.  Sometimes it's nearly overwhelming.

Good luck and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Scott

[shelley]

Sara, thanks for the walking recommendation.  I've read that here a lot and have always wondered, How the heck will i be able to walk right after surgery?  I guess the answer is, you just make yourself because you know it will pay off later.  How do you feel three weeks out?

Linda, your story points up the heartbreak of the shortage of kidneys.  Two people did get kidneys that night, two people died and one person went home without.  Bittersweet.  How much better if living donors share one, and life is given to another person.  Win-win.  As a doctor said in another thread, "maybe that's why God gave us two kidneys, so we could give one away."

Scott, thank you for your encouragement and the promise to be here to talk to after.  Nobody gets it like you folks.

[WilliamLFreeman]

Shelley,

Congratulations!  If your long wait to be cleared was like mine, what a mix of relief+satisfaction+elation -- relief from the tension, the waiting, the not knowing -- satisfaction that all my special efforts I had done (as you did) to get cleared to donate had worked -- and elation from knowing-feeling that what I had become increasingly committed to do and be was actually going to happen.  My news came on a Friday -- the best TGIF-news I could ever, and have ever, received.  [And at (then) 68, now 70, I have had a lot of Fridays to experience!]   

Speaking of age, from my point of view you are still a "young-an."   

And now for my usual post on LDO, except it is a special one for you (even though you are still young, I feel a special affinity for us 60+ year-old living donors -- plus you will be at Swedish like I was -- plus you made special efforts to be accepted as a donor).
   1]  After donating, maintain your health for the rest of your life.
      A] Keep your weight close to normal -- doing so helps prevent you getting type 2 diabetes.
      B] Keep on exercising -- at least 30 minutes of *moderate* exercise 5 days a week, minimum -- doing so helps prevent you getting type 2 diabetes.
      C] Keep your blood pressure normal, including following low salt diet.
   2]  Have someone stay with you when you are in the hospital and for a few days afterwards.  (The person will be a "gofer" -- an important help no matter how good the hospital is.)

Feel free to call me -- I believe my contact info is in my member info in LDO.

BTW, I will try to go to Seattle on the 8th or 9th to visit you in Swedish (and maybe see Dr. Chapman again when he sees you post op).   

Bill