Hi again, Shelley,
Yeah, when I look back at those times, it seems unfathomable. When I saw the title of your post "changes in your recipient's life..." my initial reaction was, "Well, I can shed some light on that AND how it influenced me to become a donor." But it wasn't until I was actually writing the words that I realized how the situation might be perceived by someone who hadn't experienced that. And that my appreciation for Jake's own grace and strength hit me.
There was a lot I left out, too. More hospital stays than I can remember; exit site infections, peritonitis, catheter issues and infections... In 2002 I married my second husband. The day my brother arrived from Alabama to help button up all the week-before details (he was my "man of honor"), Jake had to go in the hospital due to peritonitis. He had surgery to correct a catheter issue two days before my wedding, and we weren't sure he'd be out in time for the wedding, OR if we'd be able to go on a honeymoon. It all worked out (except for the enormous fact that I'm now DIVORCED from my second husband-ha!)... but that was somewhat harrowing for all of us.
This is just MY perspective as his Mom. Jake doesn't talk about those days very often. He's now a young man, soon to be 21 years old. He's physically and, for the most part, emotionally stable. He's compassionate, highly intuitive, and in my opinion, a gifted thinker who has yet to realize the potential within himself. He sticks rather close to home, but I see him becoming more confident in life, more hopeful. I'm inclined to think that the emotional scars he's acquired can be traced back to his diagnosis at age two, and the subsequent tests, treatments, etc.
But that's another story entirely.
I do advocate organ donation - living and deceased. But I'm also pragmatic; there are so many people out there suffering in one form or another. There are risks to being a living organ donor and I hope anyone considering it will be absolutely informed about the possible negative outcomes, and diligent as hell after the fact. Of course, had I been able to donate to Jake, I would have done it in a heartbeat, risks be damned. Of course. And I acknowledge wholeheartedly that it improved his and our lives a thousand percent. My gratitude for the deceased donor family is unsurpassed.
But for anyone considering being a living donor, think it through.
~ Christine