I will give a (somewhat) brief background as to our story. My mother in law (who I guess I should mention also has diabetes) has known about her cirrhosis for over 20 years. I am not 100% sure what contributed to it, but I know it was not due to alcohol or drug abuse. In March of this year she had an unrelated surgery, developed a staph infection, and then her liver and kidneys began to shut down. She was in and out of the hospital, ICU, rehab and we were told that she would not survive at that time.
She continues to retain fluid, she has jaundice, she has had issues with her mental state for a long time since her surgery. There are days where some can somewhat walk with the assistance of a walker and another person and some days where she doesn't get out of bed at all. She has bruises all over her arms, she is losing her hair, and generally has the appearance of a 90 year old woman who is really in her 50s. She just had her liver evaluation and they told her that her MELD Score is at an 11. They are having their weekly meeting to determine if she should be put on the list for a transplant. They also discussed living donor options with my husband in the event that it becomes an option.
I love her very much and she is very much like another parent to me. I am just having a hard time accepting this as an option. We have an almost two year old son who my husband takes care of (along with taking care of his mother full time) while I go to work. We are barely making it financially at this point. He does not have life insurance, though I would likely require him to have it if he seriously considered it. Of course I want to support what he wants, but I am petrified and angry all at the same time. He has taken on more than his fair share of responsibility in this (having to change diapers, watch her full time and even weekends as well when needed) and there are times where I feel like "why are we responsible for taking this on when there are other family members who could"? I also look at the possibilty of how angry I would be if he passed on and she lived. I know it wouldn't be her fault, and he would be happy that he was able to save her, but I know that resentment would always be there.
I know I am jumping the gun on this because we could find out that they won't even approve a live donor transplant yet. She is just SO sick and I don't know why they are dragging this out. We just need an answer at this point as to what we should be preparing for-- a liver transplant or a funeral. It is so....sooo sad that it has come down to that. Thank you to anyone for listening and offering whatever advice you have.
Topic: My husband wants to donate to his mom (Read 6023 times)