Question for Laproscopic Kidney Donors

[awollangk]

One week from today I'm checking in at the hospital, surgery date is one week for tomorrow where I'm donating a kidney.  Unfortunately this means Christmas Eve is five days post-op.  I'm trying to figure out if I will be able to sing at the service.  If it ends up converting to an open surgery I'm betting the answer is no, but lapro?  Yes, all recoveries are different but I'm trying to get a feel for the odds on how human I will feel at that time.

Alex

[WillowTree]

There is no way I could have managed 5 days after my laparoscopic  donation. i could barley stand for any amount of time and i picture singing being too exhausting. However, like you said everyone is different and others may feel differently

[sherri]

I did not feel human enough after 5 days to sing in front of people. Had my surgery on Monday and left the hospital Friday morning. Would have felt ok to leave on Thursday afternoon but just got delayed. Lapro does not mean no pain and discomfort. It is still general anesthesia, manipulation of internal organs and a small incision where the kidney is removed (even if it is through the belly button). Still took some pain meds especially at night the first week and felt very fatigued. But there are donors who go home after 2 days and are ready to get going. I was not one of them. Wanted to use my time off to relax and recuperate I guess. But one thing for sure, you won't really know until it happens. So leave your plans open and be flexible with whatever happens.

Enjoy your holiday season and looking forward to welcoming you to the club.

Sherri

[Clark]

Interesting stretch goal you've got there! As a singer, I'd say you've got a few things to think about:

- Even if you have a phenominal recovery, you'll still be five days out from abdominal surgery.

- Maintaining focus, even staying awake, may be beyond you, especially if you're still on painkillers.

- Standing, if your role requires you to do so, will be difficult to do, and very difficult to maintain for the duration of a song.

- Breathing, let alone fine breath control, will be painful if even possible.

- Resonance. If your range means you sing at the resonant frequency of your chest, or those around you do, you may have a uniquely painful experience.

  Best wishes, and if your director is willing to be flexible, and you feel up to trying, let us know how it goes. Best wishes to you and your recipient.

[elephant]

Dear Alex,

For sure I could not have been singing 5 days after donation.
(But then, I shouldn't sing in public now over 2 years after donation!)
I was mostly sleeping at that time.
I'm sure everyone will understand if you need to take a pass on the concert. 
What an awesome gift to offer this year!
Let us know how everything goes for you and your recipient.

Love, elephant

[Orchidlady]

I didn't even go home until 4 days after the surgery.
It would be wonderful if you could, but don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
Sure doesn't mean you couldn't have your own concert at home! Sing for the pure joy of it!

[pkoke]

I am one week post laparoscopic on the left side today!  I had the surgery on Thursday and went home on Friday.  I am a horrible singer, but even if I were able to carry a tune in a bucket, I don't think I would be able to stand in one place without moving for more than 5 minutes.  You probably won't be able to sleep comfortably for at least a week, and your muscles (my back) will be sore from having to not only stay in one position at night, but from also compensating for a slightly hunched over shuffle when you walk.  That's probably the biggest issue I have had so far, and it isn't all that bad. 

Blessings to you on your donation.  Remember:  The pain is temporary. 

[elephant]

Dear pkoke,

Congratulations!  I am glad to hear you are recovering well.  I hope your recipient is feeling better too.  Keep walking and consider adding some gentle stretches. 

Love, elephant

[awollangk]

Thanks very much for all the great input.  It sure sounds like even attending the service might be a bit of a stretch.  The chairs are comfortable (I helped with the re-upholstery effort early this year which just involved swapping out cushions) but I kinda suspected that sitting upright might be a challenge.  Especially for a service that is likely to last an hour.  If there was a realistic possibility that I could I really wanted to be there since my daughter is going to be participating in the service but it sounds like that's a bit of a pipe dream.  I'm sure I can find someone who would be willing to record it and get me a copy.

I could probably have made a case to push the surgery off until after Christmas but I'm concerned that the longer it is put off the more likely Ron (the recipient) will end up too weak for the surgery.  Overall, one Christmas of disruption is worth it.

IIRC I'm the sixth living donor to come forward for Ron, but the prior five have all had to bow out for one reason or another.  This makes me REALLY hesitant to do anything that could jeopardize the donation.

Not sure if I posted the story here but I had initially planned on doing a directed donation to a friend of mine but he was looking for his second "loaner kidney" so he needed a pretty strong match and I didn't make the cut.  A number of years later I was buying dry ice and when I mentioned to the manager that I was from Madison he said, "Oh, my brother is on the list in Madison."  I offered to find out if I matched and it turns out I do so I went through all the tests.  The tests cleared me and after a bit more serious thinking I had them schedule the surgery.

When I didn't match my friend the idea of donating kept percolating in the back of my head.  When I ran into Ron's brother I decided that I wanted to be the kind of person that actually went through with donation.  A "put my kidney where my mouth is" situation.  Not only will my donation make a substantial difference in Ron's life but it takes one more person off the list making everyone else more likely to get the organ they need.  On top of that it's worth it to give Ron's grandchildren a few more years with their grandpa.  Ron's kids have a lot of great memories of him but his grand-kids are still young enough that if he doesn't get a kidney he may not make it until they are old enough to form lasting memories.  With my kidney he has a MUCH better chance of seeing the youngest graduate High School.

Alex

[Clark]

Best wishes! Here's to a great recovery and the self knowledge to do only what's within your limits, day by day and hour by hour. With support and understanding of those around you, you might be able the attend and see your daughter's role. Being able to duck out after and rest quietly as an option is advisable, but you might find you can handle sitting quietly and observing. Your support team should be prepared for you needing to sleep, escape, or even just do a brief bit of shuffling walking to change position. Again, making sure the folks around you understand and support you will help you survive this joyfully. Something to be prepared for is that if you're still there after the service, many folks may want to talk with you or even hug you. You need to stay aware of your limits, stay seated as necessary, and rely on your support team to defend you if you suddenly find it too much to deal with.

You might be able to do this, and it would be wonderful if you can, but you and your supporters need to bear in mind that five days post surgery is very, very soon to attempt a crowd, excitement, and a period of constrained behavior. Enjoy!

[Fr Pat]

Dear Alex,
     I tend to agree with Clark that your attendance at the service might be within reasonable hopes for you if you do some creative thinking (and let the other choir members know that you may have special needs). A small pillow or pad that you might press against the incision areas if it helps (I donated by the long "open" incision, and found that just tieing a woolen scarf snugly around my waist was an aid to comfort.) Being near a convenient exit where you can slip out quietly to stretch, walk a bit, lie down for a few minutes. You probably won't know for sure if you will be able until that very evening, but it might be worth making tentative detailed plans. It sounds like being there, even if you don't sing much, would be a very helpful spiritual and psychological contribution to your healing, and I suspect that just having you there, even if you are happily slouched in a corner, will be a big boost and a Christmas joy for the other folks there.
    I myself did have an unusually fast and "easy" recovery from the "open" surgery, but I was able to sit in the sanctuary vested (I'm a Catholic priest) and con-celebrate the Mass presided by another priest 5 days after surgery, and was presiding on my own at 7 days. Again, everybody heals differently. You don't have to compete with other donors in a "fast recovery" contest. Go at your own pace and listen to your body. But I do think that you might aim at at least some sort of presence at the service, while being ready to cheerfully slip back into "plan B" (a "fortified: egg-nog while snuggled in your warm bed) if you decide at the time that you don't feel up to going.
  best wishes,
     Fr. Pat

[sally]

I went to a school program that my daughter was in one week post-donation. I was very uncomfortable and miserable, and couldn't wait to get home & back to bed. It was also quite dis-orienting to be in such a crowd of people. I couldn't imagine trying to sing as well. The belly is still very sore at that point. 

[awollangk]

The surgery went well but I let discretion be the better part of valor and didn't try to go to the Christmas Eve service. 

Alex

[sherri]

Congratulations and welcome to the donor club. Be kind and gentle to yourself and enjoy the time off to heal. Hope your recipient is doing well.


Sherri

[Fr Pat]

Congratulations! Take good care of yourself.
      Fr. Pat