Anyone Know How to Calm the Nerves?

[Johnny_t]

I am donating my kidney so that the love of my life can have a better quality of life.  I am a bit nervous about going in for surgery, but I have no doubts on my decision to donate.  I think I'm more nervous about the anticipation of going in to surgery than the surgery itself.  Anyone have any suggestions?  Also, I am a college student getting ready to graduate this June and classes resume 10 days after my surgery.  Is it likely that I'll be able to make it to class?

[sherri]

Nervousness before surgery is very normal, especially an elective surgery. I found good ways to calm myself was with walking, exercise, journal writing, massages and just talking to other donors here on LDO. It is hard for related (whether by blood or not) to talk to their recipients because you don't want to make your recipient uncomfortable. Donation surgery is a little outside the box from other surgeries where the risks and benefits are so clear. Do you have a supportive family member or friend with whom you can share your thoughts? How about the transplant team? Is your coordinator helpful? Can you call the social worker or psychologist who evaluated you?

In terms of returning to class it all depends on how the surgery goes, if you experience any complications which may keep you in the hospital then you may not be able to return as soon as you thought. This you never know till your're there and going through it. Since this is a planned surgery, the donation team should have advised you about recuperation time and support systems that need to be in place. You may go home after two days but you may be on pain meds at home. You are advised not to drive for at least 2 weeks and I certainly didn't feel capable physically or cognitively to drive before then. Your body needs to take time to adjust from having general anasthesia. What time frame were you given by the surgeon and or nurse coordinator? If you feel ok and are not on pain medication then you could go to a class or two. I was just so fatigued after surgery, I would find it hard to concentrate. Also remember no lifting over 10 lbs so you may want to get a rolling bag or have someone help you with heavy books if you need. You could also explain to the professor about your surgery and see what arrangements can be made for you to make up material if you need to miss. Since this is not emergent surgery and usually planned perhaps you can schedule the surgery after graduation in June. Many students and teachers find the summer to be more flexible and gives them a lot more time to recuperate. Might take away some of the angst of the "going into surgery" and will allow you to focus on the surgery and recuperation.

Good luck and keep us posted. Where are you donating BTW?

Sherri

[Fr Pat]

     Just to agree with the above post. Most kidney donors have trouble with fatigue for at least several weeks after donation. You may be able to return to class, but your ability to be fully attentive and to keep up on studies, readings and assignments may be below-normal for a while, and you will probably feel the need for naps and for extra sleep at night.
     Lots of helpful suggestions that the National Kidney Foundation collected from past donors at:
www.kidney.org/transplantation/livingdonors/infotips.cfm
     best wishes,
         Fr. Pat

[Johnny_t]

Thank you for the replies.  I have been trying to be more active and have been an active runner for many years so I'm hoping that helps with the recovery time. 

Yes I have spoken to my nurse coordinator and she says it just depends on how I'm feeling.  I'm sure my professors will be fine if I need a little extra time to work from home.

I don't really have anyone close that I can talk to regarding the nervous feelings, but I will try some of the ideas recommended.  I am donating at UCLA Medical Center next month.

[jatopa]

Hi Johnny,
I donated at UCLA in December and I know you will be in good hands.  It's normal to be nervous before surgery, and there are lots of good suggestions about exercise and keeping busy. 
When I was at UCLA, it was a very busy week and I was in the recovery room for way too long.  I was wishing I had a mask to block the light and my headphones to block the noise.
My brother and I were on opposite ends of the recovery room, but the staff pushed our beds together for a while so we could be together. It was a treasured moment.   
Let your professors know that you recently had surgery, just in case you nod off in class.   
One week after surgery I was still a little tired, but walking three miles a day and going out with friends.   Everyone bounces back differently.
Best of luck to you and your recipient.
J

[lawphi]

Nerves were the worst part of the procedure.  I did yoga, soaked in the tub and took klonopin as needed.

As for the recovery, everyone is different. I did not experience any lethargy after I left the hospital.

[SWB]

Johnny,

I am a somewhat similar situation but more about the next round of tests since nothing beyond that scheduled.  I am finding talking to someone else who has been through it has helped.  I signed up for a donor buddy here as well.

And, I am focusing on getting as healthy as I can.  I am continuing to eat healthier and going to do a little more running.  Saw the suggestion for Yoga and I have done Yoga in the past.  It can be relaxing as well as healthy. 

Every person is different I know.  For some folks running, for others the gym, or yoga, reading a book, or simply going out to a movie.  If things proceed well then I am thinking of going with a group of folks on a quick out of town "guys night out" type deal to just forget some of the pressure on things and relax.  As stated in my other thread, I found that the best advice someone gave me was probably the most obvious - the best thing you can do to help your recipeint is to to take care of yourself.   

My suggestion is to take some deep breathes, call a friend, and just do something crazy/spontaneous to take your mind off from things for a while.

[treehugger]

My husband, a recipient for whom the aftermath of surgery was much worse than for me, started back at school less than 30 days after his surgery. That is a lot more than 10 days, true, but 9 of those 30 days were spent back in the hospital with complications.

What I am getting at is that your 10 day timeframe will probably be doable for you, as long as you remember to TAKE IT EASY, take naps, don't schedule any other commitments, and don't lift anything heavy.

Good luck, you can do it!

Kara