Thanks for bringing this up, Rob. You've reminded me of a remark one of my close friends made to a group of our mutual friends when I wasn't present, but was told about later. They had, during a long, rambling discussion during a reunion of sorts shortly after I donated, started talking about charity, philanthropy, and volunteerism. My friend said, "What can we do to top John? He's set the bar so high, now!" Yes, it was a guy among guys, and they had been one-upping each other competitively. I'm told the reactions were groans and mock despair of ever being able to measure up in this arena again. Yes, they revealed that in a way that they were annoyed, or felt their considerable aggregate good works paled in comparison, chilling their justified warm mutual admiration of what nice guys they'd turned out to be over the years.
This conversation gets brought up from time to time when a few of us get together, and I reassure them how much I admire their various and amazing gifts to society and individuals. This confirms and helps remind me that while donation is different, and unique, it is not alone among admirable acts. When in such conversations, I have often said, truly, that my kidney donation, while challenging, transformative, and leading to unexpected further progressive activities, was a one off. It's done, no reload, no repeat, the crux of the division in time we all seem to feel so clearly, before vs. after, and the well spring of past surgical depression too many of us grapple with. Without Michael's creation and dedicated maintenance of LDO, where would so many of us be?
I am personally much more amazed and proud of my personal persistence over decades as a blood donor and community blood drive organizer. Taking nothing away from how important to my recipient my donation to her was, or how delighted I am with her continued excellent health, I am still on the front lines with this. My platelet donations, O negative, CMV negative, most often go directly to the pediatric oncology unit at Children's Hospital. My donation rate of 24 times a year, the maximum the FDA permits, every other Friday morning, is augmented by my rich platelet density. I've been giving three units per donation, triples, for more than a month now, after dropping back to doubles mysteriously after I broke my leg more than two years ago. My personal 72 units per year seem great, but it's the community drives that really amaze. I now organize eight different drives, two of them two day events, and help bring nearly 1,000 units of whole blood and packed red cells into the supply each year. I do my best to make clear my appreciation to the thousands of potential donors I encounter, because for me, it's all about treating donors, donor candidates, respectfully, appreciatively, and honestly.
The three organizations I shill for, the ARC, MGH, and Children's, welcome my efforts, but none have really comprehended or adopted my philosophy or approach. Even in the blood biz, the professional's attention and motivation are focussed on the product and the eventual recipient as the patient, not primarily the healthy human being right in front of them. UNOS and the OPTN aren't alone in being persistently tone deaf about this. It's institutional, in the arrangement of priorities, protocols, and economic constraints, but it's also cultural. Altruism is deeply suspicious, hard to credit as genuine, often a ruse or mask (Trojan Horse, anyone?). Even if accepted and true, there is then the discomfort of appearing inadequate in comparison, a troubling, often unacknowledged or unacceptable sensation, resulting in inappropriate overreactions, such as laughter or ridicule, dismissal, rejection, or objectification.
I value all of you, active posters for your courage, eloquence, and points of view, and lurkers because you're engaged and interested. Believe it. This is not one-upmanship, as I am daunted by the gifts so many give. Annoyed? Sorry.
Topic: did it seem that your being a donor annoyed people (Read 7056 times)