Almost @ the One Year Mark

[Dora76]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.  It's been almost a year since I donated my kidney to my mom (we're both doing well, fingers crossed).  It's been a very interesting year, to say the least, and I wouldn't trade it for the anything.  There have been several trying moments too.  And with my relationship with my mom and the family dynamics, it made it difficult to talk openly with them about my recovery process, especially the emotional recovery.  Until the last moment, my mom was very hesitant to take my kidney.  But I guess I may not be able to fully understand that feeling until I'm a mother myself.

Anyway, in the last few weeks I've been reflecting on my experience and wanting to find a way to recognize this new part of my identity as a "living donor."  This experience has caused me to think a lot about who I am, what I want, and where I'm going in life.  I'm also in my 20's, which might have something to do with all this thinking...  I'm really happy I stumbled across this forum, and I wish I knew about it when my mom first started going through her chronic kidney disease.  It seems this is as great community of people supporting each other, and I wanted to let you all know...and I'm glad to have somewhere I can "go," even if it's online so that I don't feel so out of place. Thank you!

[Fr Pat]

Dear Dora,
     Congratulations as you and your mom approach the 1-year anniversary! Yes, I think it does take time to really digest all that has happened.
     Just wanted to mention, in case you have not heard of it, that the "Transplant Games of America" will be held in July of 2012 in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Games are held every 2 years in a different location. Teams of transplant recipients (kidney, liver, lung, heart, etc.) from deceased or living donors take part in athletic events to celebrate their life and health and to thank their donors. (Events range from easy soft-ball throws to fierce basketball games.) Donor families also attend, to see the fruits of their deceased loved ones' donations, and in past Games there have been a couple of hundred living donors present as well (with some sports events just for living donors.) There are also ceremonies to honor deceased and living donors, work-shops, talks, etc. Participants form State or Regional teams. If you are interested, details are at www.transplantgamesofamerica.org . Sometimes we may not personally know any other living donors, so getting together with a couple of hundred to talk and celebrate is a great experience.
     Thanks for posting!
         Fr. Pat

[ohtobeahayes]

Welcome!!! Congratulations and thank you for your beautiful gift!
I didn't donate to anyone I knew, but from all the reading I've done here, and the imaginings I've had, it is a whole different ball of wax when it's a family member.  It can bring on all sorts of challenges, and I admire your heart and soul for having come so far without a board to let it all out on.
I am so happy you've found us now. I'm also so happy to hear that you are doing well, as is your Momma!
Bless your heart! And again, WELCOME!!!
Nicki

[Dora76]

Hi Nicki & Fr. Pat,

Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words!  It means a lot.  Wow, Nicki, that's amazing that you donated to someone you didn't know.  I really admire that as well.   

Actually, we had a bit of a scare today.  My parents ended up at the transplant center because my mom suddenly had blood in her urine.  They ran a whole slew of tests, and thank goodness it is a minor urinary tract infection.  As we were waiting, I started to feel horribly guilty because we were "celebrating" the anniversary too early, like I shouldn't have let my guard down.  But, I know that's not quite true.  Hopefully it will all be fine, and they're supposed to send her home from the hospital tonight.

Thanks again for you kindness.

Dora

[Aries7]

Hello Dora and welcome!

First off, I want to say I am so sorry you and your family went throught such a scare with your Mom today. I am so glad to hear that it is a minor UTI and that it sounds like they caught the infection early enough that it should be easily treated. That is good news.

I also want to tell you "Welcome Aboard!" You are correct that this is a great place to come for advice, knowledge and support. I donated a kidney to my husband on October 8, 2009, so we just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. Like you, I did not find this board until after I donated. I also wished I had found this wonderful community of people before I donated, but I am still very grateful to have found them shortly afterward.

I think it is quite normal to rethink a lot of things after donation. I know I did and I still do. I have felt strongly since the donation that I need/want to be doing more to help others and make a difference. I have always been one to volunteer and love being with/meeting and working people of all personality types. I know for me, the whole experience, including the 4 days I spent on the transplant floor, really changed me forever. It really makes someone step back and realize what is and is not important in life. We have 2 kids that are both in college right now, but I am thinking of taking an entirely new career path once they both graduate.
Once again, welcome and Congratulations on your upcoming 1 year anniversary to you and your Mom!

Linda

[Orchidlady]

Welcome and congratulations on your one year anniversary! One year always seems to be a magical mark for reflection. Know that you are not alone, and that everyone here understands and is ready to help.

[Dora76]

Linda & Orchidlady, thank you for welcoming me and letting me know I'm not alone.  Thank you Linda for sharing a bit more of your story.

I think you're right, the 4 days I spent in the hospital were a truly life-changing experience, and I don't often use that word.  Now that I'm looking at things a year out and kind of allowing myself to breathe somewhat of a a sigh of relief because my mom is doing well now and we're optimistic and everything, I guess I feel like I can allow myself to devote more time to what the experience meant for me.  In a way, I've been pushing it away and not dealing with it because I was more consumed with worrying about my mom and I also threw myself into my work. 

While I was preparing for the transplant, I was full-steam ahead.  My co-workers, my family, and my friends would say things like, "You're so brave," and "You're giving the gift of life," and I still cringe at that because it just...doesn't seem like me.  I went full-steam ahead because I knew it was what I could do to help my mom and if there was a way to get off the sidelines I would do it.  I was focused on doing something for my mom, but the thing is, I never thought about how it would change me!  I guess I'm doing that now, even though it's sort of after the fact.

Like you, I've always been someone to be interested in volunteering or in some way "making a positive contribution." Now more than ever, I want to do that and really make the best use of my talents to do some good, whatever that might be.  I'm 28 and I'm a college advisor at an university, and I really like working with college-age students but I know now I'd be happier doing something more than academic advising to encourage my students to see the bigger picture.  It's hard to get outside the 9-5 grind though.  I thought joining this forum might be one way I could communicate with others in the living donor community and maybe help a few people too, in a small way.  I'm so happy to have come across it.  Thanks so much for reading.  Take care and good luck with your career change, whatever it may be.  Hope your children are doing well in school.  With my job (and I'm not too far removed from college as it is...), I know all too well the challenges and opportunities at college!

[Fr Pat]

Dear Dora,
     I forgot to mention two other ways that donors can get involved in getting the word out regarding kidney disease and transplantation:
--- Your local chapter of the National Kidney Foundation may have volunteer oportunities ("Kidney Walks", information tables, screening progrms, etc.) check www.kidney.org
--- "Transplant Speakers International" helps train donors, donor families and recipients about how to share their experiences at conferences, workshops, etc. www.transplant-speakers.org
         Fr. Pat

[Dora76]

I forgot to mention two other ways that donors can get involved in getting the word out regarding kidney disease and transplantation...

Fr Pat, thank you for the information!  In particular, I wasn't familiar with Transplant Speakers International.  I'll check all of those things out.  I would certainly love to stay in the loop on ways I can apply my experience to help others.