My husband is a crack cocaine user and he is attempting to donate a kidney to his brother. He has already passed the first set of tests and he has the next set scheduled in two days. I don't understand how he can be at this stage of the kidney donation process, being a user, and being allowed to continue. I don't feel it is in my husband's best health interest to donate a kidney for as often as he uses crack. Please tell me that the hospital will find out that he's a user. The last time my husband used was last Friday. He goes back to the hospital this Wed. (I'm tagging along this time) Will he be doing his brother a disservice by giving him one of his kidneys? He has used crack cocaine for over 8 years, with the last 2 years being the heaviest use. My husband also has high cholesterol, as well as asthma. He has horrible coughing fits that cause him to vomit. I assume that my husband has been lying if he was asked about drug use during the screening process so far. Will using crack be more dangerous to my husband when he has just one kidney? He does not admit to having a serious problem, nor is he ready to stop using. We've been married for over 23 years, and we have children, and of course, this drug use has caused all of us much pain and heartache, but on the surface, with the possibility that he will be given the "ok" to donate, these questions won't leave my mind. I am SO SO WORRIED. Please don't suggest that I bring this up to the hospital/nurses/surgeon. I cannot take that chance. My husband is in denial about his use, and so is his family. I cannot believe how selfish my husband's brother is being by accepting my husband's offer for his kidney, knowing that he uses, and that we have children. His brother is already in the transplant list. What about his mother or father? My husband is 43, and not in the best of health. What of my children need a kidney down the road and my husband just has one kidney? I'm so confused about how to feel about this situation. I AM proud of my husband for offering this gift to his brothe. I have so many concerns, though! Maybe some of you can straighten me out on these concerns., Maybe I'm the one being selfish. Please advise! Thank you so much!
PS. My husband referred to this potential surgery as "the same as having a tooth pulled." He is being unrealistically light-hearted about this. He has not discussed life insurance or a will with me. Of course he has not been himself for years. He is regularly looking for acceptance and the thrives off of the "wow" factor. I am so concerned. I feel so left out and lost. How in the World can ANY hospital take his kidney? He is so clearly not healthy!