Potential Kidney donor for father

[willis_chavonn]

Hello Everyone, I am a 23 year old female who will be donating a kidney to my father on next Friday at UAB. I have educated myself on this procedure as much as possible and the team has been very helpful at UAB. Anxiety and nervousness is starting to kick in. I am ok with talking to others about my decision but at times is a little hesistant because of others reaction of my age. My mother passed when I was a baby so my father raised me. I feel like this is the least that I can do. I was not nervous throughout this entire process up until now. I don't know why. I guess it's normal. I am curious about what is going to happen? What to expect after the surgery ? and the pain level.Any advice and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[sherri]

Willis,

As the surgery gets closer most of us feel a little nervous and anxious. If you didn't I'd be worried you weren't prepared for what you are about to do. Sounds like your Dad is a wonderful father, raising you on his own after your mom passed away. I'm sure it must be both an honor and a little scary to be a young donor like yourself.

Make sure you read all the materials the hospital has given you. Speak to your nurse coordinator and psychologist or social worker who evaluated you to make sure you are prepared for the surgery. There is a lot of information on this forum including experiences from other donors so you can get an idea of what to expect.

Each hospital is different and each surgeon chooses to do the surgery a little differently so you might want to speak to your team to find out what will happen. Recovery differs for each person. The nurses will be asking you to rate your pain level on a scale of 0 -10 (0 being no pain and 10 the worst pain you can imagine). This is not the time to be a hero or martyr. They will dose your pain medicine according to your rating. If you answer in the 5 to 6 range you will get less than if you answer 9 -10. They should come back and ask you to rate your pain again after the medication. Some places use a PCA pump which is an IV with pain medicine that you can give yourself. You press the button and the pain medication is delivered. It is set so that you can only give a safe amount. Some donors say their pain was minimal, others have more pain. I think for some the euphoria takes over and they may feel the pain later when they are home and all the hype around the surgery is over. The pain medication tends to make you constipated, they will give you stool softeners to help with that.

Try and walk around after the surgery. You may feel sore especially around the incision where the kidney is removed. Walking helps to get rid of the gas they use to inflate the abdomen during any laparoscopic surgery. It also helps to prevent blood clots. It would be a good idea to have someone be with you at the hospital to be your advocate. Your Dad can have someone else be there for him. If you are feeling up to it, you will be able to walk down to his room  and see him depending on where he is in the hospital or they can wheel you over if it is far away. He should be feeling better after his kidney is working and you will be feeling weak and sick since you were feeling ok before surgery. Pretty typical. Your appetite may not be great at first. May take time for your bowels to begin working again after anaesthesia. Drink plenty of fluids, eat little bits if you can. They can give you medication for nausea or vomiting which is not uncommon after surgery.

Rest up after surgery. Try not to lift anything above 10 lbs so you don't get a hernia. Take off from  work or school as needed. Many donors take off 4 - 6 weeks. Some say 2 weeks was fine others need 8 weeks depending on what kind of work you do. Even little things like focusing or making decisions can be hard. donation surgery is as much an emotional experience as it is a physical one.

Will let you digest all this. Keep asking questions. Use your resources at UAB to help you. I think there have been several donors on this board from there. You can look in the donor buddy section and contact one of them or ask for a donor buddy at your hospital. Best of luck to you and you Dad. Let us know how it goes.

Sherri

[elephant]

Dear Willis,

I also donated to my father, but at age 47, two years ago in May.   Now sometimes I call him Kidney instead of Daddy. 

The day after surgery I walked (hobbled? crept?) down to see Daddy.  There he was, all smiles, eating an omlette! It's not uncommon for the donor to feel far worse than the recipient.  Guess the donor surgery is much harder.

Bring earplugs to the hospital, it is a noisy place.  And wear stretchy pants, your abdomen will likely be swollen for a while. I was extremely nauseated from the anesthesia, but they can give you a medication that takes it away.   

I was able to go home on the second day after surgery, and stayed home for 3 1/2 weeks.  Another week would have been better.  I was taking walks the day after I got home, and think that helped a lot.  But I slept more than 12 hours a day and was very fatigued. 

I hope everything goes great for you and your beloved father, keep us updated.

Love, elephant

[Fr Pat]

     There is a lot of variety among donors as to the post-op pain, and some donors react badly to a particular pain-killer while others may do well. The important thing is to communicate very clearly with the nurses/doctors about your pain level. A number of donors have reported that it was very helpful to have a relative/friend steadily at the hospital to be a sort of "advocate" and make sure good communication takes place. The donor may be too groggy/sleepy to clearly get express herself, so haveing a helper nearby can be a great help.
     best wishes,
         Fr. Pat

[SWB]

Willis,

I just donated at UAB on Oct. 18th.  Was a year long process.  However, I can't say enough about how great the folks there are.  I had two transplant coordinators at different points:  Mary Anne and Jill.  Both were a great resource and wealth of information.

I am glad to answer questions, share information about the process at UAB from my perspective, share with you my surgery details, or help in any way.  Just message me and I will give you my private email address.

Best of luck - Scott