Just looking for input

[smw33]

Hello!
So, my step dad's kidneys are both failing he now is on dialyse 3x times a week it's taking a toll on him and also my mother. He got the green light to be put on the list to get a new kidney. Sad part of this is no one in his blood side including his only biological child will even talk about possibly donating theirs... Which I understand its not an easy thing to decide. I told my mom on the phone the other night man if I was a match then I would do it. Well on Christmas day she called me to let me know that my blood type is a match. Which I know that theres other test that need to be done but knowing that my blood type matches is at least closer then what he has gotten. So upon hearing that news it really got me and my husband to seriously discuss this. My other concern is I don't have a normal job. I'm also a soldier but have since found out I would get 100% support from the Army. SO it seems everything is pointing to me doing this. My husband asked me today why do you really want to do this??? Well to be honest when we opened up and told our kids what was going on my 10 yr old lost it.... it just broke my heart as we have been away from them living in Germany for the past 3 years. She asked me how can we get more time??? Thats when it truly hit me.. So I did a ton of research and saw he has a very very good chance of making it another five years if I donate as a pose to a random dead donor. So I guess my question is....is it wrong of me to do it not so much for him but as to possible give my children more time with their papa? Well I guess to give them both more time together? and for those that have what has the process been like? also with recovery? Thoes that are very active with working out how long before you were able to hit the gym again? any info would be great...TIA

[Clark]

Best wishes. There's a lot of information for you here. Please do go through it, as the information you posted about graft survival from living vs. deceased donors sounds like something got lost in translation. That isn't the only consideration, either. You matter, too. Posting questions here, getting in touch with a Donor Buddy, finding out if the transplant center has donors willing to be contacted, and talking over what you learn with your loved ones are all important. Take care. You're at the beginning of a complicated journey.

[Fr Pat]

Dear "SMW33",
     Although the data is always changing and the doctors are always looking for ways to improve the odds of success, the last time I saw a report it said that ON AVERAGE a kidney from a deceased donor lasts about 10 years while a kidney from a living donor lasts about 20 years. Of course that is ON AVERAGE. Some transplanted kidneys fail or are rejected soon after transplant, while others have lasted for 30 years or more.
     Also since kidneys from deceased donors have to be transplanted quickly, often with little advance notice, there is a limited time to check to try to be sure that the deceased donor did not have a disease (cancer, HIV, other infections), so there have been some sad cases where the recipients became ill from a disease transplanted with the kidney. In living donation the doctors have months to run you through every test imaginable to make sure that the transplant will be as safe as possible.
     So, keep getting well informed about the options, and also about the small but genuine risks to the donor. It IS major surgery, and in any major surgery anything can go wrong.
     I myself had a very good recovery after donating a kidney 12 years ago, at age 56, and am still running half-marathons now at age 68. But some donors have had short-term or long-term complications so it is good to think things over carefully.
   best wishes,
    Fr. Pat

[elephant]

Dear smw33,

Each person recovers at a different rate.  But in general youth and fitness will help get you back to full strength sooner. 

There are lifting restrictions for several weeks after surgery, and you do want to follow those.  You only have one chance to heal properly. 

I donated at age 47 and was doing easy jogging by around two weeks.  I was also lifting very light weights within the lifting restrictions guideline.  After a month I was beginng to train abdominals again, and gradually increased lifting and running back to usual levels over the next couple of weeks. 

Fagtigue was an issue, especially for the first two weeks, and through the first month.

Love, elephant