My husband and I both submitted forms to be tested as possible kidney donors to his sister. The transplant coordinator says neither one of us has anything that would obviously preclude donation (not to say that something couldn't come up later during tests). They will only test one potential donor at a time. She wants to know which one of us would like to test first. I had thought they would pick the better candidate, so this kind of threw me. I thought they would at least cross type match both of us or something before making any decisions?
If it was you, what considerations would you take into account? Who would you choose to go first?
The donor coordinator specifically mentioned family history of kidney disease in his family, but dh actually is not genetically predisposed because he has a different parent. His bio parents actually do have all sorts of non-kidney health issues, but they are also old and eat crap. He himself is extremely athletic. We also don't know his blood type yet, which i feel is kind of a big factor. But they won't test it unless we pick him to go first. Has anybody with young kids ever found out the kids' blood types to factor in to the decision of which parent donates? I feel like if dh is type O, I would prefer to keep him as backup in case myself or our kids ever needed it.
We already know that I am a blood type match. I am more comfortable with myself donating since I have had a c-section and gall bladder removal, so I feel like I understand what I am in for. On the down side, I have a decent amount of baby weight to lose, but apparently I am already within their parameters. Still gonna work on that.
Financially, our personal savings are probably going to take a big hit. There is probably a little less financial risk with me donating. We do not expect any assistance whatsoever from the family, so childcare costs, parking, tolls, food costs could get ugly. There is a weird family dynamic going on...they don't even seem to be acknowledging that we are starting the donation process. We had to tell them to complete the medical histories, and there were zero offers of help, only "Why would you do it?"
So who would you start with? Or would you find a way to get dh's blood type? Or are there factors I am forgetting?