Melissa,
Believe me, I can sympathize. I was in the same boat as you around five years ago. We went to do the initial testing both for my husband to get on the list and for me as a potential donor. I should have known something was up when one of the individuals at the day long interview commented that I "might have to lose some weight". When the tests came back, my husband was on the list, and I was told that to proceed much farther in testing that I would have to lose approximately 40 pounds.
It's interesting the stages that you go through when something like that hits you in the face. At first I was angry and in denial : "It's my genes!" "I'm not fat - I'm just big boned!" - you get the picture. But I was indeed overweight. Part of the effects of this were showing up in my A1C level (blood sugar over time) which was .1 over normal, and the center told me that should be discussed with my doctor. It meant nothing to me until my doctor told me she would NOT save the copy of the letter I gave to her - she was going to shred it. She said if she put it in my file, that teeny weeny .1 number was enough to categorize me as "pre-diabetic". She said losing the weight would solve that issue (and it did).
I felt the same as you - I couldn't understand why they wouldn't proceed further to let me help my husband. He currently had an ash catheter in and my hope was to donate before he had to go through the fistula surgery. I had never dieted before in my 50 year life. The center told me I needed to lose weight sensibly (they recommended weight watchers) not through starvation and pills which would do neither of us any good. I remember talking to the coordinator - I thought all I had to do was cut out white bread and sweets and the weight would slide off. She patted me on the shoulder and said "Oh Honey! Women our age (who's she talking about! Women OUR age!) can only expect to lose about a pound or two a week!" She was right on the money with that. It takes time, but when you have determination and a goal, it can be done. I started in January, and had lost the weight needed by August. They finished the testing, everything well within normal ranges, and the surgery was scheduled for October.
Sherri has given you all the physical reasons why they want your weight in order. The surgeon also told at our first visit that excess weight complicates both the surgery and recovery. If there is too much "stuff" (read as "fat") in the way, they can't do the lap surgery, and, even with the open, they would have a difficult time getting to the kidney. He also commented on their Hippocratic Oath - "first, do no harm.....". What they are doing goes against that oath, but they do it because it is the right thing to do. Why would they deliberately operate on a person who they know, because of obesity, would have future problems that could be complicated by the procedure they had to perform? As to recovery, I can't even begin to imagine trying to recover with that extra 40 pounds I was carrying!
In hindsight, this situation of forcing me to lose the weight, was the best thing that could have happened to me. I would not have done it on my own had I not been backed into a corner. Once I started losing weight, I realized all the problems it had been causing me - I just didn't know it before because the problems came on over time and gradually. Now, both my husband and I are more attuned to the value of our health and well being and take better care of ourselves.
Good luck on your visit on the 31st. You are more than welcome to email me if you have any questions on how I lost the weight, or just support as one wife to another. All the best to you both, Melissa!
Topic: WHy is BMI for donor so important? (Read 11761 times)