We lost him

[Terrym]

I am so sorry......you have my deepest sympathy.
  Thoughts & Prayers!!

[Scott337]

Stephanie -   So sorry to hear of your father's passing.  I know you loved him deeply and had so hoped his health would turn around with a new kidney.  I'm certain you've already heard it, but there is so much we have no control over and it sounds as though your dad's heart issue was just that. 

Please know there are so many of us here who know your story and of your journey with your dad and family.  We wish you and your family comfort, togetherness and healing.  I'm certain your memories of your father will always keep him close to your heart and make you smile.

My prayers for healing, health and hope. 

Scott   8)

[snoopy62]

Dear Miss Frizz,
  i am very sad to hear of your loss.  But you yourself put it best: 

"But, is it possible that I feel at peace with everything?  That he knew he was loved and I gave him a gift that maybe didn't turn out the way we thought, but he had the gift of hope and the story to tell."
   
   What more can I add, except to send you some "virtual" strength and blessings for a speedy recovery, in all senses?...
       
      Snoopy

[MissFrizz]

Thank you, everyone, for your warm thoughts and condolances.

[bradmac]

Bless your heart.  I know your dad appreciated everything you did for him.  Please try to take care of yourself.

[rspang]

Stephanie, I am soooo sorry for your loss... I can't even imagine what you are going through....

I had a similar experience, but my father was saved... We were setup to do the kidney transplant in April and two days before the scheduled surgery they cancelled it and did open heart on my father first.  When he was healed up from that we did the transplant in August....

I also had a friend who lost her father from a heart attack on the operating table.... You would think with all of the testing, they could determine these things.   The best of luck to you and your family, and know that you did all you could... again my deepest condolensces....

[MissFrizz]

Thank you. I think losing him on the table would be the hardest thing to take.  That is such a sad thing for your friend. 

[busymom9501]

My heart is so sad for you. I will sure be praying for you and your family!

[nicholleoliver]

I am so, so sorry that you lost your dad... that must be very difficult considering you are going through your own recovery.  I wish all the best in moving through such a rough time!

[mintx]

I am so very sorry for your loss.  There are no words, nothing any of us can say to make it easier for you.  Know that you have my deepest sympathy and admiration for the gift you gave your dad. 

[SWB]

Just now reading - my condolences to you and your family.  I can't imagine the emotions and situation you find yourself in.  However, like others I want to say thank you for doing everything you could do for your dad.  I know that it was a difficult decision; however, the gift you gave was from your heart and in the end I wish you peace and hope your family comes together with love and support. 

Long distance hugs and love from Mississippi - Scott

[MissFrizz]

Thank you to everyone who offered such kind words.  Losing my dad for any reason hurts.  Gladly, I find no regret in donating my kidney.  It gave him hope and changed his life for a short period of time.  I do wish things worked out differently, but while everyone at his viewing seemed to treat me with kidd gloves, I do not connect my gift with his death.  It was his time.  Period.

To answer my own question:  shock.  I definitely walked around in a bubble of denial for quite some time.  Grieving is very difficult, but there is peace in much of this.  God granted my dad a merciful death, which is what anyone can hope for.

[jstx]

So sorry to hear this.  Praying for you and your family.