Waiting Patiently -I'm trying

[PastorJeff]

I'm a non directed donor going NKR.  Seen two matches go away.  Just cross matched for a donor chain of nine.  Now waiting to see if all cross match ok.  If so we get a surgery date.  What a privilege that would be to be part of helping all those people!!!!  Tuesday, August 7th we learn --go or no go.  We're praying to go forward.  Patience now. 

[snoopy62]

Hi, Giants.
  As you say, "Patience now".  Just keep repeating to yourself:  marathon, not sprint, marathon, not sprint, marathon, not sprint....
   When I was early in the process, an organization arranged for me to test for a near lost-cause candidate, someone for whom they'd basically despaired of finding a match (antibody problems of some sort). Then, the organization said:  look, we already booked you in the lab, the two of you already have to come in so early.  You know what, we'll throw in another lost-cause candidate--the lab will do us a favor, and test you for both the same morning.  Just know it's most unlikely anything will come of it, but we've got to keep their hopes up.  To make a long story short...I matched well with both!  I was flying--I went running through the halls of my office yelling for joy (nobody knew why).  And yet--since I was at the beginning of my testing process, it ended up that each "found other solutions" (whether a deceased donor, or a relative or something, I never knew) well before I was approved.  Apart from meeting at the lab, I never really got to know either candidate.
   Later, I was matched with a gentleman with whom I really hit it off.  After the match, we progressed together through many many stages of the process, and we became friendly.  However, I was still not finished with my testing when I had to leave town for a month to help my parents...and he was suddenly offered a deceased donor kidney (and given 30 minutes to decide).  The donor and his family really wanted my "live" kidney but, since I was away, and was not yet approved, they grabbed the sure thing.  I was sort of stunned, since we'd really hit it off.  I really had thought he was "the one", but I was happy he got his kidney in the end.  We still talk sometimes.
  I finally proceeded "to the altar" with my fourth match, who I guess was, "upstairs", truly my designated recipient.
  Good luck with your plans, and hang in there!  (Marathon, not sprint....)
     Be well, Snoopy

[PastorJeff]

Thanks for taking the time to share your experience.  If you wait long enough you have an opprtunity to revisit/question all your original motives, even come up with some new ones.  I'm beginning to think I'm a bit obsessed with it all.  People are probably tired of hearing about it--especially my dear wife who is an RN and understands the potential complications on a more than academic level. 
I cruised through the evaluation  in large measure due to my coordinator, Diane of UCSF.  She made it quite seamless.  But waiting is a big distraction for me from my work and the people I serve.  One just asked, no pressure--How long do you intend to let this go before you would call it off.  Good question.  I don't have the ability to go on indefinitely--to early fall at the most.  Yet I would NOT renig if a chain was in place.   
But it seems now after two or three attempts we might have a chain.   Yet just in case,  yes,  Marathon, not sprint, marathon, not sprint. This is tough.  I better drink some water, or better yet a beer.  Thanks Jeff

[jstx]

Jeff, I think most of us become a bit obsessed about this while going through the eval process. It's a big deal, consumes a lot of time, and is a big part of this particular chapter of our lives. I wondered how far I'd go too. Initially I wanted to donate to a friend but after months of researching, we found put we had incompatible blood types. I found another person through LDO that was a compatible blood type but then had to go through months of testing & waiting....and you're right-you learn a lot in the waiting! During that time the mother of a girl I mentor asked me what I'd do if I ended up not being a match this time around...I told her I'd keep trying. And she said, "if it doesn't work this time why don't we try cleaning out your closet & giving some clothes away instead!"  ;D That made me laugh. But I knew donation was something I really wanted to do, & thankfully it worked out for me.

Good luck! Try to enjoy the waiting. Once it's over, it's over so really relish this time while you can!

[PastorJeff]

Thanks for the benefit of your experience.  I was beginning to wonder that so much of my attention has been toward this.  That was funny about your mentor's mom.  :)

[snoopy62]

I was beginning to wonder that so much of my attention has been toward this.

Uh-huh. I remember being horrified, really disturbed, to discover how high I ranked on LDO in terms of time spent online.  I definitely began to wonder if I was over-doing it a bit.  But I know several other people who reported similar experiences.
   Be well, Snoopy