Post donation blues

[upnover]

Did a quick search so I am not sure if this has been discussed before but I am 4 weeks post donation and I never thought I would feel so down and mentally lethargic at this time after having gone through this. I would not say depressed but "blue" not excited about anything just blah. Did any other donors go through this, or is it just me? It's like I need a kick start or something. Hopefully it passes soon.

[twinkie]

Hey upnover, I am also 4 weeks and 1 day post op since I donated my kidney.  I understand what you are trying to say and if I can relate in anyway, my energy level is still extremely low.  My heart is screaming from excitement from this awesome journey that I have been on but my body is lagging...  From what I have been told this too shall pass.  The best thing that has helped me is to make sure I get out and walk and get some fresh air.  Trust me, once I am finished with my walk, all I can think about is getting a shower and putting my pajamas back on.  For me personally, I just keep thanking the Lord for All things, even this fatigue that I am having.  If anything, like I said above I am taking time to smell the Roses and appreciate my health even more than I did before donation.  I keep thinking about how the Lord blessed me in so many ways and I was able to give back to my friend's father so he can live again.  I will be praying for you and I to regain our strength back in every way possible.....   Twinkie/Lisa

[ergarcia99]

Hi upnover-
I totally get it.  I am 3 weeks and 4 days post op and I get blue at times.  I think it comes from being so tired so quickly some days.  Lisa is right, taking a walk really does help a bunch.  I hope that within the next three weeks my energy levels gets better, at least that's when the doctor said I can get back into yoga.  I hope you feel better...you've done an amazing thing!  You are a beautiful person.

Erika

[APV]

Hi Upnover,

I am 4 weeks post-op today and I totally get how you feel.  I thought it was just me feeling kind of down.  It is weird to explain how it feels.... I feel too good to do nothing BUT not well enough to do anything ( I am not in pain anymore, but I do get tired easily).  I totally agree that taking a long walk helps.  My 9 year old son goes on a long walk with me and he makes me feel way better. Once we get back I feel better.  I still don't feel well enough to run which is what my body misses.    On the other hand, it gives me a total boost to see my husband doing so well.  He is back to normal and full of energy (too much energy!  )

Hang in there and remember what a great experience this has been.   

Angelica

[Clark]

I hope all of you are seeing rapid increment improvement in every way, including less and less blue, blah moments.  If they're interfering with your recovery or any life activities your state of recovery otherwise permits, please, please, contact your primary care physician and ask to be evaluated for possible depression.  It is a real risk for us, and prompt treatment may save you a lot of grief.  Best wishes to you all.

[Christine Robinson]

My depression started within a few weeks after donating in December 2007 and has never subsided.  After quite a long while (more than two years), I finally started taking meds (Prozac), which helped greatly.

I does happen and you must listen to your psyche if you notice the blues NOT subsiding. 

Christine Robinson

[sherri]

I think blues are very normal. Donation is a life changing experience so full of emotional highs and lows. We often don't get to focus on ourselves as the donors and many feelings are repressed or pushed aside. Now that the pinnacle has been reached there is that let down feeling. I think women in particular go through this after childbirth,post partum depression, which was recognized only recently. There is the euphoria of all the hype during pregnancy, maybe even those who were so focused on becoming pregnant, the pregnancy itself, the awaited birth (sometimes a little traumatic not at all what was expected), the excitement of the baby and then everyone goes back to business. Similarly, donors have that intense wait to see if they are healthy enough to donate, the leading up to the big day, focus on the recipient's health,the surgery also somewhat traumatic and surprising, and then everyone goes back to routine, as hoped for. Depending on the circumstance of the donation there may be a lot of loose ends that need to be tied up. Expectations from family and/or friends may not be what you anticipated. The reality now of having a part of you missing and living in someone else. All these unusual and new feelings are alot to handle.

I definitely had depression and anxiety during and after the surgery. I expected that I would and hoped I could handle it. I did find a social worker, went through a few, to help me with both those emotions. I was very set on doing it with cognitive and behavioral therapy even though the professionals had doubts. It has taken me three years of sorting out my feelings, coming to terms with my decision to donate, adjusting my expectations and finding a new outlet to help me turn negative feelings into positive ones. A few sessions with a therapist might be helpful just to have a safe place to vent think about things and reevaluate.

Heal well.

Sherri

[Fr Pat]

     Sherri (above) has already mentioned the reality of post partum depression that some mothers suffer after giving birth. It has also been noted that after ANY type of surgery there is a notable percentage of patients who suffer depression (even if the operation was a complete success). May be a mixture of physical, chemical and emotional factors. I myself did not have the problem, but responses on the message boards indicate that it is not uncommon (although some sufferers feel embarassed to mention it, since they think that they are "suposed" to feel great.)
     While there are lots of helpful tips to help recover from it if it happens, some patients get it so badly and for so long a time that they find that professional help is called for. Transplant hospitals SHOULD take this risk into consideration, both by warning potential donors of the possibility and helping sufferers deal with it, but it appears that many hospitals ignore this.                                                                         best wishes,
         Fr. Pat

[dodger]

All the above advice is soooo good, please take heed. 

Also remember that yes there is a big emotional upheaval being a donor, but, there is also a hugh chemical change, the anesthetic is a powerful drug that some of us find out we are quite sensitive to.  And then the pain relievers after the surgery, and if you were taken off any normal supplements prior to surgery that you might actually need and your body uses to keep its chemisty normal, you can have some very wide mood swings, and energy level changes, until you can resume taking those supplements and getting back to as close as possible your normal daily routine and hours.

I had smell sensitivity, had a hard time eating because of it, stomach upset, couldn't take my supplements for at least 3 weeks because of it, plus, had to take high blood pressure meds after surgery as it spiked really high a couple of days after surgery.  So I also was getting used to taking those, and they really knocked me for a loop for about a month.  Mornings were pretty much shot as far as having any energy or motivation from taking those, besides recovering from the surgery.

Was I a little depressed, YEAH!, but finding this forum really helped, talking with my buddie helped, and mostly, seeing how great my rehomed kidney was doing in my niece/recipient really helped.

Four months post op, BP is now a very low normal, 112/68 range most of the time.  I feel that after the surgery I was soooo pumped full of fluids, off my normal support system of supplements, in pain, lack of sleep because of vitals check at all hours, and no coffee ( couldn't stand the smell, and still don't drink it since surgery) which is a diuretic is mainly the reason it spiked.  However, it does run in the family and I was overweight at the time and had very little excercise.

So, all that has changed walking, excercise, proper diet, weight loss, adequate sleep and taking my supplements has got me feeling better mentally and physically than before surgery.

Give it some time, you have had major surgery and need to recover, don't be so impatient or hard on yourself.  Eat when hungry, sleep when tired, work when you feel up to it, and don't over do it.

[jstx]

I get the blues off and on too.  Mainly, for me, it is because I want to go back through the process to remember EVERY detail.  Sherri had recommended early on that I keep a journal (I've never been one to journal much) so I got one.  But then I never felt I had time to write in it.  Now I just wish I'd written a little each day when something with the process happened (i.e. bloodwork, or today I felt a bit nervous waiting to hear back on the 24 hour urinalysis, etc).....am trying to go back and piece the puzzle back together so I have a timeline at the very least.  Like most of you, this took up the better part of a 1.5 years for me from start to finish (I had been researching donation when a friend told me she needed a donor, then we realized we had incompatible blood types, I found a potential recipient on this website and started the testing for him, we were a match, and donation).  I spent a lot of time thinking, planning, researching, getting excited to help, etc; now that it is all over, it is a bit of a let down.  I'm so glad I get to keep in touch with my recipient and hear how well he's doing, but I wish I had another spare to share!  It is fun to read through all the posts here from the people going through the testing process but it makes me want to go through it all over again.

[lawphi]

My husband and I had a good year and a half of therapy to help us deal with all the medical problems he was facing.  I think that played a large role in having realistic expectations after my surgery and in my mental preparation.

It has been an adjustment spending every night administering home hemo treatments to having evenings free to actually enjoy myself.