Nerves kicking in big time!

[Mac]

Hi all. In theory due to donate kidney via paired/pooled system,frustratingly thought it would be very soon as nearly all tests finished, but co ordinator has said we aren't ready yet! However I am starting to get extremely nervous about the long term prospects for my health. Not many long term studies, and contradictory information about the effects. I have asked my transplant co ordinator and other Dr's to be honest but just get the standard sugar coated version that " most people are ok", which is actually quite vague.

I appreciate there are risks and no guarantees, and I keep telling myself that if it was really damaging to health live donations wouldn't take place.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's also had similar feelings the closer it gets to all becoming " real"! Many thanks.

[Mac]

Hi again all. So I have spent some time reading through lots of posts having asked my question as I thought it would be beneficial.  I'm quite surprised at the level of difficulty many have experienced, and many echo my experience of having the risks glossed over.

Of course I'm sure there are many positive experiences that we don't hear about.

No one can give me the answer that we all want, which is that everything will be perfect!  I just hope that generally medical staff are being honest and not focused on targets/ reducing waiting lists!

[Michael]

Mac, it sounds like you're having a perfectly normal reaction to the prospect of having surgery. Checking this site, Facebook groups, etc., you'll see that what you're experiencing is what happens as you approach the big day. If it didn't, we would worry about you!

The LDO website includes a full discussion of what is known today about the "long-term" health (and other) consequences of donation.  There's a long list of possibilities. But the good news is the likelihood of anything negative happening is small, and the vast majority (96%) of donors say they would do it again.

So maybe you can channel your nervous energy into getting prepared. Make sure you have your support system in place. Reach out to others (as you've done here) and talk things through. Find a guided meditation to listen to. Look into what others suggest you bring with you to the hospital, including a "care" package for yourself, and start packing. Maybe buy gifts for the recipient and the transplant team. Think about something you can do to reward yourself during recovery, like binge watching your favorite TV shows.

In the meantime, please let us know if there are other questions or concerns you'd like to discuss. Best of luck!

[Clark]

Best wishes, Mac! Michael said it well, what you're feeling now is quite normal and reasonable. Preparation for the possibilities might be calming, or not. I had a long interval between initial ABO compatibility blood draw and the full series of tests, than another long interval before surgery actually took place. That was 25 years ago that I started on the path to donation, and 23 years ago that I actually donated. My recipient, then an acquaintance, now a good friend, and I are both doing very well. I've had normal urinary and abdominal issues come up in my fifties and sixties since, and if anything my status as a living donor has meant more conservative, attentive care by medical professionals. There are very low probability negative outcomes, so do the appropriate planning for them. If you drive a car, your risks are about as great every time you get behind the wheel, so try and keep perspective. If anything, we should be a lot more careful driving, and be sure our will and end of life directives are in order before we do that. Would discussing specifics help, one on one? Check our our Donor Buddy list and see if that helps. Private messaging is possible, too. We're happy to help! Bravo for being on the path!